


Small town shadows

by orphan_account



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: A slow lovestory, F/M, Friendship, Mostly Fluff, No Smut, Sass, just a really nice ff, just characters i love living their life, the slowest of burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-03-25 21:36:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 36,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13843512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sebastian hates his life in Pelican Town. Everything sucks. The only thing that makes life bearable is his best friend Sam, online gaming and the fact that he is outta there as soon as possible.Sam tries so hard to make his friends and family happy, but it doesn’t really work out that way.Hannah threw away her whole life to move from London to a small American town on the coast. She did not expect to find such a loving environment. She is shocked to find out, that even in such a happy small town, there are dark corners.A story about friendship, love and the fact, that it is okay to be sad sometimes.TW: Language, Drugs/Alkohol mentioned (not excessively), Depression and Suicide (again, only slight mentions)SebastianPOV/SamPOV/OriginalFemaleCharakterPOV***There is a lack of good Sebastian-fanfictions (that don’t only have two chapters) on this page and I am determined to change that. This fanfiction is fully plotted and will be updated regularly. It’s basically a SHIT TON of sass, some drama, a lot of fluff and friendship. No smut, sorry, just a really fun and happy little fanfiction for those who like Sebastian and want to read more about him and Sam.





	1. In which Sebastian hates life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Revised: Yes

It was fucking cold. His hands ached as he rubbed them, unwilling to give up and go back inside. The dim glow of his cigarette didn’t help at all. Weren’t those fuckers supposed to be burning and therefore provide at least a touch of warmth? The door of the saloon opened and closed a couple of times. He heard the bell ring and rolled his eyes. People. Everywhere. 

It was a busy night, even for such a small place like Pelican Town. Almost all the people living here were going to this bar on Fridays. He asked himself why he was one of them. The smoke burned on his tongue, making him feel alive and depressed at the same time. He really should be getting back inside. Both his freezing body and his high-on-nicotine-brain told him that. But there were people inside. 

For a second, he thought he could get away with just going home. But then he thought of Sam inside, waiting for him to come back in and he felt bad. “Alright”, he sighed to himself. 

Warm air hit him in the face like a truck. It smelled like alcohol, food and the breath of way too many people in a small space. He glanced over the room and was surprised to see Sam on the counter of the bar talking to the waitress Emily and – his mother? 

What? 

Why would Sam be talking to the woman he usually only referred to as “Mrs. Heller” even though she told him every time to just call her Robin? He slid past them over to the game-room, where Abigail was sitting on the couch, almost aggressively typing into her phone.

“What’s going on over there?” He nodded into the general direction of the bar without looking at it. 

“Dunno”, she went back to her phone, “some new farmer-woman moving in. Guess your mom is pretty excited.”

“Yeah, so it seems.” He looked to the bar, but only short enough to catch a glimpse at the waitress laughing, throwing her head back, as she filled up another glass with beer, sliding it into the direction of Gus. The owner of the bar didn’t seem so happy with that, judging by the look on his face. 

The bell above the door rang another time and Sebastian couldn’t stop himself from looking up yet again. 

Snow was clinging onto the coat that was hanging well below her waist, hiding most of the woman inside it. All he could make out was a wavy black long bob, littered with melting snowflakes and a huge pair of glasses, as well as dark red lipstick. 

She was greeted by his mother, who took it upon her, to order a beer, which the woman quickly changed to white wine before shimmying out of the winter coat. She was curvy, about 5’5’’, wearing black skinny jeans, a dark blue top with a blazer over that. That was the new farmer? Really? She was wearing fucking high heeled winter boots and a blazer. She clearly belonged into a university or a courtroom, not a farm.

His eyes went to the lower parts of her arms. They were covered in small tattoos. He raised his eyebrows and returned his gaze to the pool table, waiting for Sam to notice him. 

It didn’t take him long. 

Shortly after he heard a “sorry, be right back” from the bar, Sam appeared next to him, grinning like a fucking idiot. 

“There you are, come I gotta introduce you to the new girl, she’s awesome man!”

Abigail muttered “idiots” as she walked past them. He shook his head, taking a second-long glance towards the bar, happily realizing, that the newcomer didn’t take an interest in Sam and him. 

“Nah man, I’m gonna go home. But you go and have fun.” 

He took the moment Sam re-joined the group to quickly get out of the saloon without either his mother, nor the new girl noticing. As he turned around he saw Shane sitting in the corner, seemingly unhappy as well. 

At least he was not the only one who felt uncomfortable.

***

He listened to the snow crunching under his quick steps, as he lit another cigarette. Altogether it had been a good night. No stress with his mom, no hour-long talks with some person from town, who took it upon them to entertain him. Nothing but that woman. 

She was probably younger than him, but not by much. Most likely British, judging by the bits of talk he could make out from afar. Sam seemed to like her, as did Emily and his mother. So what should he think of her? 

He noticed that he was chuckling at the thought of her in her polished appearance trying to get field work done. 

He inhaled the smoke and felt, like all the stress from the bar slowly dissolved into the cold air of early spring. As he saw his house perk up in the distance he felt his stomach clench again. It would be empty, but not for long. 

His mom and Demetrius were to come back soon and Maru was over at Hayley’s and would be back before ten as well. 

He opened the door, breathing in the scent of wood and whatever his family had had for dinner, before disappearing into the cellar. His mom had built him in a small kitchen and a bathroom, but he still felt weird living down there at 26. He paid rent and was basically no more part of the family, than the homeless guy living in a tent behind their house, but still. 

As he pulled a chair to his computer, listening to the vibration and beeping as it turned on, he felt safe again. “Alone at last”, he sighed. Turning his attention to the bride screen in front of him.


	2. In which Sam makes a friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: Yes

She was truly awesome. 

The life, that filled the eyes of his new friend, made Sam’s heart ache. Finally, someone else moved here, who wasn’t… well, socially awkward, introverted or shy. 

He loved his friends, but damn he missed having someone to sing tacky pop sings with, headbanging, laughing for days. And he felt like the girl in front of him was exactly the person to do that with. 

She was pretty, but with a down to earth vibe coming from her. Her makeup was both classy and brave, stylish clothing, tattoos that even he recognized as hipster and an overwhelming cloud of perfume all made him think that she was up tight when she first entered the saloon. 

But three seconds after that she made up for it by making a joke, almost tripping over her own legs, as she attempted to climb one of the high bar chairs and telling him that she once broke her nose by hitting herself with her arm when she was telling a story with too many gestures.

He was struck by her personality, which was funny, since he had the feeling that he usually did that to others. 

Drinking her wine like a lady, she managed to talk nonchalantly about her grandfather leaving her his farm, shooting a deadly look over to Gus, after his comment about women and hard work on a farm. 

“I’m pretty sure my small, fragile, female body can handle it. But if I ever do need help I make sure to ask one of the strong, strong men around here.” She flexed her biceps jokingly in his direction.

Sam watched as Gus went blood red, whilst Emily laughed loudly, and Robin patted the back of the newcomer, telling her that they would get along just great.

Hannah, her name was Hannah. And Hannah was amazing. They talked long after Robin was gone, and Emily had gone back to work. It was closing time, when they finally left the saloon, still holding conversation. He liked the way her voice cracked, when she got excited and started talking faster and faster. 

She reminded him so much of himself, it was kind of ridiculous. 

“Ah”, she breathed in the cold air, “so refreshing.” – “Yeah”, he grinned into the night. “Hey, wanna walk with me?” She shuddered, “I have no idea how to get back to my house and I feel like I do not want to get lost in the woods at night.”

Oh, okay. “Sure.” Sam offered his arm, which she took, and started walking in the direction of the old farm. “So, you told me, that your sister lives in the city?” Hannah nodded, “yeah she moved to the states a couple of years ago. I visited her, before coming here. It’s nice having a familiar face close. Otherwise I would probably go crazy.” 

He hummed in approval, “I can’t even imagine moving to another continent all by myself.” For the first time, silence fell over the two of them. But it was a nice kind of silence. 

When they got to her porch she untangled her arm from his, turning around to hug him. “Thanks Sam, I was kinda afraid to be alone in there.” 

“No problem”, he smiled widely, “Samson to the rescue!” 

One arm held high in the air, he whistled a small heroic melody. She snorted, before walking towards her door. 

“Thanks again, see you soon?” 

“Sure. Just text me when you want to hang out!” He waved and watched, as she opened her door and got inside. After the door slammed shut, he took out his earphones and his cell phone from his pocket, noticing a couple of missed messages. 

He opened them while walking home. Sebastian asked two hours ago if he was still at the bar with the girl. Then, one hour ago, he had texted a smiley face and 15 minutes ago a good night text. 

Of course, he would still be awake. Sebastian was a freaking owl. He basically only slept when the sun was up. 

Sam dialled his number, waiting for him to pick up. 

“Okay tell me. How much in love are you?” 

“Not at all actually. She is absolutely awesome but dude, she is basically me.”

“Oh great, there is two of you now.”

“You’d like her.”

“And why would that be?”

“She’s me but with boobs.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“Right now I don’t.”

“Oh hush it. She really is awesome. Would you mind if I invite her to hang with us?”

“You really want her hanging out with Abigail? She didn’t seem too happy about her.”

“Nah only us. Abi doesn’t play PnP, Hannah does.”

“Really?” For the first time in their conversation, Sam heard actual interest in Sebastian’s voice. He was always acting like some tough guy who didn’t care about anything, but Sam knew how to peak interest. 

“Yes. Healer. Perfect fit.”

“Really. A healer.”

“Well okay she likes to be spy or warrior, but I told her we needed one and that you would let her play if she says she wants to be healer.”

“Dude she can play whatever role she wants to be.”

“So she can come? Yes!”

“Why not. You told her that we meet up every Saturday?”

“Jup. I also told her about our band and invited her to practice.”

“You sure you’re not in love?”

“As much as I love myself, I’d rather not be actually in love with me.” He chuckled, “but damn she’s gonna be such a pain in your ass and I love it already!”

Sebastian sighed. Sam could almost feel the eyes of his friend rolling. “Stop rolling your eyes.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m almost home, see you Saturday?”

“Sure.”


	3. In which Hannah takes a break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: Yes

As much as she wanted to hang out with other young people, Hannah simply never found the time to do so. After excusing herself from Saturday-meet-ups until she figured out how to make a living she started cleaning up her land. 

Day after day. 

She lived off fishing and making jam, eventually taking a job at Gus’s Bar as a bartender on Friday nights. 

She was starting to get worried, when it was April and still either freezing cold or raining like crazy. Planting crops seemed impossible. 

The job in the saloon made up for most of her costs, which was good. Every week she greeted the townspeople, chatting with some of them, before continuing to work. Harvey, the local doctor, seemed nice enough. Maru, Robins daughter, was also great to chat with every once in a while, and of course so was Emily, her colleague at the bar.

She took it as a personal victory, when Shane, the silent grumpy guy in the dark corner, started talking to her. Sometimes she would just lean on the counter, chatting with him over chickens and his goddaughter Jas. 

A couple of weeks passed like this. It was a Tuesday night, when Hannah finally decided, that she needed a break. She was laying on her bed, head spinning over all the things she worried about. She pulled herself up, letting out a small groan, as she reached for her phone, headphones, cigarettes and her coat. 

Music on, coat over the shoulders, lighter in her pocket and go. 

She walked the upper way around, seeing as the forest still made her feel queasy and she wasn’t in the mood for walking through the town. As she passed Robins house she noticed, that the light in the basement window was still on. 

A yes, Maru’s half-brother. She remembered neither her, nor Demetrius talking very fondly about him. Robin seemed mainly concerned, but all together none of them talked about him very much. Only when they had to, or so it seemed. 

She wondered why that was. Small town bullshit, probably. He couldn’t possibly be that bad, right? As she walked through the snow she took out another cigarette, searching her back pockets for her lighter.

“Shit!”

Where was it? It had been there just a couple minutes ago. 

“Need a light?”

“Jesus Christ!”

“Woah sorry.”

A tall, pale man with a fringe that screamed 2007-emo-phase to her looked over to her, like he’d just startled freaking Bambi. 

“No, I’m sorry.” She smiled, he didn’t. 

“Easily scared?”

“Got it. You got no idea. I jumped at my own reflection this morning, because I forgot that I put a mirror next to my bed.” The right corner of his mouth moved, she took that as a smile.

“Here”, he held his lighter in her direction. 

“Thanks again.” She put on her cigarette and nodded in his direction. “See you around.” 

He nodded back, and she started walking again. Nice guy. A little out there with his style, but if that was the weird brother Maru described, that girl had to check her people-skills. 

***

She turned back a couple minutes later, catching herself looking out for her new acquaintance. 

He was still there, standing outside of his family’s house, slowly blowing smoke into the fresh air, looking at the lake. She smiled, wondering, what he was thinking about. He seemed like the kind of person, that thought more, than he spoke. 

As she opened the door to her house, she felt every bone in her body protesting her little walk. 

A quick glance to the clock made her groan, before she fell face first onto her bed and fell asleep in a second.


	4. In which Sebastian smokes too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: Yes

It was Friday and he was in the saloon, eyeballing Sam, as he tried for the millionth time to win at pool. Sebastian was no mathematician or something, but he was good with numbers, thanks to his freelance work as a programmer. Fortunately for him, that made him nearly undefeatable at this game. 

Sam pouted and stopped, to make his best puppy face at him. 

“I’m not letting you win.”

Back to pouting, his friend emptied his glass and looked back to the bar. 

“You got the next round? I have to pee and then set up a new game, you already won this one.”

“Sure.” He shrugged, grabbing both of their glasses, looking back at Abigail on the couch. “Abi, you good?” She rose her half full glass and that was that. 

As he made his way to the bar, he passed Emily, nodded over to Shane and left the empty glasses on the polished surface next to him. The bartender, aka. The new girl, aka. Hannah, turned around from a chatter with Elliot and stopped at the look of him.

“Hey, it’s mysterious lake-man.”

He raised his eyebrows, allowing himself a small, small smile. “Two more?”

“Sure.” 

She filled the glasses quickly, looking over to Shane with a heart-warming smile. Sebastian wondered if they were friends. He took the glasses, told her to put it on Sam’s tap and was met with another surprised glance. 

Nothing followed. She simply went back to work not even a second after that. 

“Did you ever tell the new girl that you know me?” He asked Sam, as his friend came back from the men’s room. 

“Hannah? Nah. It didn’t come up yet. She knows tho, we are in here every Friday and I told her that I play PnP with someone from this town. Who else could it be?”

“I don’t think she noticed yet. She seems surprised when I put this on your tab.”

“You did what? Seb you earn seven times more than I do.”

“I know.”

“Fuck you.”

“Language!”

They looked over to Emily, who just served Gus another drink and didn’t seem too happy about their swearing. 

“Sorry Em!” Sam scratched the back of his head, looking apologetic over to the blue haired waitress. 

Sebastian looked over to Hannah again. She was talking to Shane. Nobody ever did that. Not even Emily. It made him somehow happy for Shane. He knew how it felt to be judged by people. Not that he cared, but still.

“I’m gonna go out and smoke. Be right back.” Sam was so focussed on the game, he didn’t even respond. 

Sebastian grabbed his pack of cigarettes and walked out the door. 

***

Just as he lit his second one, the bell rang, and Hannah stepped outside, leaning against the wall lighting her own. 

He expected her to talk, but she didn’t. They just stood there in silence, blowing out smoke, taking a break from the energetic inside of the tavern. 

He finished quickly, passing her on his way back inside. She didn’t even seem to notice him. Her gaze laid upon the night sky, which was full of stars. 

He stopped, looking at her. There was a question burning inside him, that needed answering.

“Hey.” He felt bad for ripping her from her stargaze. 

“Hey. What’s up?” She smiled a faint smile. 

“You’re friends with Sam right?” She nodded. 

“I’m Sebastian.” What was he doing? He didn’t do this. He never introduced himself. He didn’t even like people.

Her eyes went wide for a second. “Oh, the band and PnP guy?” He raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t think that Robins son was Sam’s friend. This town is ridiculously small. Everything is connected.”

“You didn’t notice me sitting with Sam all the time?” He was genuinely surprised. “Nah”, she shrugged, “I work the bar, that’s it.”

He pulled out another cigarette and stood there, smoking again. He was smoking way too much, but he didn’t really care. 

“According to your family you never leave your room.” 

He frowned, “you friends with my sister huh?” She shook her head, still not looking at him. 

“We occasionally talk, that’s it. I don’t really care about small town gossip.” 

“But still”, she continued, “you bury yourself in there and come out on the busiest night of the town?” He bit the inside of his lip, fighting back a snarky answer. 

“I guess. Sam makes me. I’m not really a people-person.”

They got back to silence and smoking. When she got back inside, he followed her. Finding it weird, that he enjoyed silence with a complete stranger more, than the company of his best friend.


	5. In which Sam needs help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you like the story so far? Have fun with the new chapter :) Working on more right now.
> 
> Revised: Yes

His mother was crying loud enough, to stop him from even considering sleeping. It was late. Like, really late. He was glad, that his brother was with Marnie and Jas.

He sat up, hands ruffling through his hair. 

Shit. 

He glanced over to his phone, thinking about calling Seb. But at this time even he would be sleeping. He looked out of his window, seeing the sun slowly rise over the horizon. Hannah had told him, that she got up at sun dawn. But could he call her?

He decided to try it, dialling her number with stiff fingers. She answered almost immediately. 

“Sam?” He heard the worry in her voice, realizing that it wasn’t a normal thing to call someone at this time.

“Can I come over?” His voice cracked.

“Yes.” 

He ended the call, getting up from his bed and opening his window. As he climbed outside, he felt the fresh, cold air, already helping him clear his head. 

***

The walk to Hannah’s house was ten minutes tops. He made it in a little less than that. 

“Hey.” Shit. He had woken her up. 

Hannah stood in her doorway dressed in leggings and a way too big t-shirt, holding a mug of tea and a blanked. She didn’t even answer him, she just opened the door a little wider, making room for him to get inside. 

It smelled like rosehip tea, apple and honey. 

A smell, that made Sam feel at home the second he stepped inside. The house was rustic, but homely. It looked like it fit her personality.

She pushed him towards a giant dark red couch, closing the door with her foot, pulling the blanket over him, handing him the mug. Sam was overwhelmed by this. She walked towards the kitchen to get a plate of what looked like Evelyn’s home-made cookies.

She let herself fall down next to him and leaned onto his shoulder. 

“You wanna talk about it?” He shook his head, looking around over the neatly stocked shelves. Taylor Swift, Slip Knot, 30 Seconds to Mars, Fall Out Boy, Justin Bieber and the Hamilton Soundtrack all stood next to each other. He grinned. That was not at all a surprise to him. Video games ranging from Shooters to three shelves full of Sims games rounded up her collection.

“You wanna watch something?” She was still leaning on him, nibbling away on a cookie. He nodded. Not talking felt good. 

She put on Netflix on her Tv, skipping through programs until she found something to watch. Sometimes she would comment on a sexist comment or whenever she felt like the characters did something stupid. 

They finished the movie, and she put on a horror flick, scarring Sam for live, whilst making him laugh hysterically after she ranted about how stupid this was, just to get the living hell scared out of her a couple moments later. 

It was almost noon when she stood up from the couch to take a shower, feeding her cat, making them lunch, going out to check on her tree saplings (in her words, the only thing that would grow in these ungodly temperatures), putting on a fire, sitting back down with him. 

She even called Shane to ask, if he could fill in for Sam in work, which he did. Sam never heard of Shane even talking to someone, let alone being nice to them like that. 

When the sun sunk again, she called Jody to let her know where her son was. Not commenting on the fact, that his mother apparently hadn’t noticed until now. 

They ate dinner together and Sam finally found his voice back. “Thank you.” He said, noticing, that he had been on her couch for over 12 hours by now. “No problem, anytime really. I know how it feels.” She just shrugged off her amazingness and it made Sam somehow sad. 

“I told your mom you’d be staying here tonight. Vincent is still at Marnie’s.” She got up to wash their plates. Sam couldn’t remember the last time he felt so relaxed. He usually had to plan Vincent’s day, get to work, help his mother and keep up with the household when his mother had a bad day. Here he was just cuddled up into his blanked, while Hannah kept feeding and entertaining him. 

His cell phone buzzed, and he saw Sebastian’s name pop up. Quickly grabbing it, he opened the message.

“U okay? I just heard mom talking about Vincent still being with Marnie.”

“Yeah. Thanks for asking tho. U good?”

“Mom keeps stressing me about everything. Fucking hell, sometimes I feel like I’m still a teenager.”

“Keep it up man.”

“I will. But it’s still shit.”

“I know. U pull thru tho.”

“See u soon?”

“Yeah.”

He put his phone away again and yawned.

“Why am I tired?” 

“You didn’t sleep.” 

“Yeah but its’s not like-“ he stopped and bit his own tongue. Damnit. She looked up, worry in her face.

“You don’t sleep that often, huh?” Hannah poured him another mug of tea, handling him over to her bed. 

“Hold up, I’m taking the couch, I’m not-“ 

“Oh chill my bed is almost the size of the bedroom, there is room for two.”

He couldn’t help but getting red. Thankfully she didn’t notice it, as she got her laptop and climbed next to him into bed. Shimmying out of her pants and unhooking her bra as she slid under the covers. She was still wearing a fair amount of clothes, but Sam had never slept in one bed with a girl.

He stood up, getting out of his jeans as well, before going back into bed, sinking into the pillows. Some time passed. Somewhere between two Friends episodes, he opened his mouth. 

“My mom cries a lot.” 

Hannah didn’t look at him. But she listened, he could tell by her body language. 

“My dad’s a soldier. Don’t really know if he’ll ever come back. She’s sad a lot. She can’t handle life most days. And when that happens, I gotta step in. Take care of my little brother and all. But it’s not easy for me either.” 

“What do you usually do?” 

“Nothing.”

She stayed silent, but he felt her shuffle closer to him, until she could lean on his shoulder again. He felt sleep creep up on him, as he felt warm and happy, for the first time in months.


	6. In which Hannah finally gets her hands dirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to read some comments on how you like it. So... leave some if you want. I would be really happy. Thanks and have fun!
> 
> Revised: Yes

It was nearly June when she finally started getting seeds into the ground. By that time, she had managed to build a chicken coop with Robin, started growing apple trees and worked every free second on the renovation of her house. 

The wooden walls had needed an all-round replacement, the roof had been leaking since day one and the floorboards creaked. But no more. Whenever she came home now, she was met with a nice, warm and dry inside. Hannah was genuinely proud of herself for that.

Melons, corn, sunflowers and wheat. All the seed’s she had bought were now ready to grow. The day had gone by like nothing, but it was Friday and her last shift at Gus’s started in half an hour, so no time to even think about sleep. 

She pulled herself off the ground and stepped inside to take a shower. As the warm water ran over her body she noticed how torn down she actually was. Damn.

She dried her hair with a towel, slipped into some nicer clothes and left the farm, hair still a little damp. 

As the sun set in her back, she made her way to town. Harvey was just leaving the clinic and waved at her. She smiled widely, waving back, thinking about how nice it was to finally enjoy summer. Everybody was happier, when the temperatures started to rise. 

She opened the door to the tavern, enjoying the little jingle off the bells above her head, smiled at Gus and quickly got behind the bar. 

Shane was already there, nursing a beer, nodding over to her. So was Pam, but she ignored Hannah as usual. 

Gus had offered her a job to keep her busy in the winter months and she seriously thought about taking it. It was really fun working here and she mostly spend her time talking to Shane or Elliot or Emily anyways.

The door opened and in came Sam, followed by Abigail, looking at her phone, and Sebastian. Sam grinned at her, as she already pulled out three glasses, filling them with the usual. 

A light beer for Sam, a vodka cranberry for Abigail and alcohol-free beer for Sebastian. He never drank alcohol but seemed to be a heavy smoker. Something in her found that funny.

They got to the back room and routine began to kick in. Chatting with Shane, getting Elliot his red wine around six, a dark beer for Willy who came in at half past six, then greeting Leah, Marnie and the Major, all coming in shortly after. 

Abigail smiled at her for half a second when she got her second drink and Hannah felt okay about it. The girl with the purple hair was nice but valued her phone way more than an eventual friendship with the bartender. Hannah understood that.

She saw that Sam’s glass was empty from the other side of the room and smiled, knowing that he’d be checking in on her soon to get a refill. He never bothered her at work, feeling guilty about making her chat with him when she was on the clock. 

She was cleaning the taps when she heard the familiar cluck of two empty glasses on the counter and turned around to see Sebastian looking at her. 

Oh. Okay. That was new. 

They hadn’t talked since their last conversation in front of the bar a couple of weeks ago. He usually got out to smoke when she took her break, but they were always silent. It was lowkey funny seeing him stand there, looking awkward as he waited. 

She smiled, he raised his eyebrows. His usual move. 

“Two more?” She took the glasses without waiting for an answer. He seemed to appreciate that, because he stayed silent. 

When she got on her break he was already outside. 

“Hey it’s never-comes-out-of-his-room-man.” She lit her cigarette not expecting an answer.

“Are you just going to come up with a new nickname for me, whenever we meet?”

Oh. He was talking. Okay. “I’ll take that challenge.”

“Well joke’s on you. That is my actual superhero persona so…”

She grinned and blew out some smoke. “Well isn’t that a snarky reply. What happened? Did staring in silence and lifting your eyebrows break up with you?”

He lifted his eyebrows and Hannah snorted.

“What?”

“You don’t even notice that, do you?”

“I do not lift my eyebrows that often.”

“Oh, but you do.”

“Shut up.”

She grinned into the darkness. He was smiling, one side of his mouth lifted higher than the other. 

“You got a nice smile, you should show it more often.” Oh god, why did she have to say that? 

She glanced over, halfway expecting to have scared him off with that. But he was still smirking.

“I only show it to people who deserve it.”

“I feel truly honoured.”

“Oh, you better.”

He was sarcastic as fuck and she loved it. Now she finally got, why Sam was friends with him. He wasn’t just nice, he was a smirking smartass with a nice sense of humour. She could work with that.

They talked a little more before going back inside. As she was back behind the bar she asked herself why his family didn’t seem to get him. He was probably more right than he knew when he said that it was a privilege to see him smile.


	7. In which Sebastian thinks too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: Yes

He got the message in between two bites of cereal. It was nearly two in the afternoon and he felt like he hadn’t slept at all. But this message changed it all.

_____________

Mister Heller,

thank you for sending in your resumé. I am happy to tell you that we are indeed interested in having you in our staff. There is no free spot for you on this team at the moment but coming fall there will be an opening, for which I will recommend you.

I hope to be working with you soon,

Allan Herker

Co-CEO of Freefalltech

89473 Zuzu City

_____________

Yes. 

Just fucking yes. 

Finally. 

He would be working in the city in no time. A wide smile spread over his face, as he turned the music up and closed his eyes. It was about time that he got outta here. 

He thought about texting Sam, but it was Friday and he would be seeing him soon anyways. A quick time-check told him, that he got another three hours before meeting his friends.

Perfect.

With a toolkit under his arm he left the cellar, sneaking towards the front door, hoping nobody would hear him. He wasn’t in the mood for his family. He just wanted to listen to music, work on his bike and think about the new job. 

He rolled under the engine. His phone played some song from My Chemical Romance and he smiled at the memories bubbling up at his once favourite band. 

His mind wandered from the past to the future and he wondered, if he would find an apartment close to his new workplace and if Sam would maybe move in, once he finally got into college.

Sam was pretty much the only person Sebastian would even consider for a roommate. Every other human being on this planet tired him.

With Sam it was different. Sure, he was tiring in his own way, but they got along great and he trusted him. 

Sometimes he wondered if it was the huge difference between their personalities that made them such good friends. 

But then again he was completely different than the rest of his family and he hated having them around. He hated most people. 

Not that new girl tho. 

A little voice in the back of his head started talking. How he felt genuinely nice around her. How he basically stalked her on her break for the last couple of weeks. How they could just be silent around each other. How they talked last week and it had felt so normal and fun. 

He usually bit down his sarcasm around people. But not that night. What was that about? 

He told the little voice to shut up.

Perfect fit to the group. Everybody likes each other. You could become friends with her. Talk more.

The voice didn’t care about him rolling his eyes. 

***

He was late, but the work on his bike had messed up his hair and he could not let that happen. When he pulled up at the bar Sam was already inside. Hannah wasn’t behind the counter. Right, last week had been her last day. He felt weird about having to smoke on his own again. 

The hours flew by. Sam lost twice, Abigail made some comments about that and Emily got their drinks. She seemed stressed having to work the bar alone again. 

He got up to smoke on his usual time, almost expecting Hannah to stand outside. But she wasn’t. 

He didn’t even finish one cigarette before wanting to go back inside. 

What happened to him? He usually enjoyed being alone. 

Damn her. Taking away his alone time, making him used to her looking into the stars and then just not turning up again.

“Don’t you usually smoke more?”

Just as he turned to go back he heard the voice. A smile slid on his face, but he managed to wipe it off, before facing her. He felt his eyebrows rise and cursed at himself for it. 

“Ah, back to silence and eyebrows I see.” 

She was smoking a different brand than usual. He could tell by the way she didn’t really inhale. Too strong for her, he assumed. 

He was searching for a reply, but his brain found different thinks to do. Like noticing her perfume or the way she always blinked twice in a row.

He noticed, that she was still looking at him and he at her. 

“Uhhh.” Wow. Thanks brain.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to talk. It’s not your strong side anyways.” She grinned.

“Why are you here?” He managed to formulate a full sentence.

“It felt weird sitting at home on a Friday. I’m usually here, so I felt like coming over to check how Em is doing on her own.”

“Not good. She’s stressed.” Hannah’s eyes widened in guilt and he felt obliged to add to his answer. “Don’t sweat it. She handled it before, she will again.” Unlike Shane. The poor fella had gotten as used to her company as Sebastian had to smoke with her.

“Oh man, now I feel bad. Like, really bad.” She looked the part. But that changed quickly as she started smiling again. “I’ll go check in on her and Shane. Are you going back inside?”

Did she just read his mind with Shane?

“I guess.” How did she just wipe away her feelings to replace them with happiness?

She walked past him, and he noticed her perfume once more as he followed.

Inside Sam was already waiting for him. 

“Dude, there you are.” Why did he seem so eager? What was happening?

“You look like a puppy waiting for a treat. What is going on?” He heard Abigail laughing in the background.

“You wanted to tell me something.” Oh right. He told Sam that he had news but forgot over the game. Shit.

“It’s nothing. Sorry. I got an Email about a job, but I didn’t get it.”

Sam patted him on the back. “Sorry man. Next round is on me. I know how much you wanna get out of this town. Fucking stupid of them not to take you.” Sebastian nodded, giving him a slight smile. 

Why did he lie? 

As Sam walked towards the bar, excitedly greeting Hannah, he suddenly knew why. He wasn’t ready to tell his friend he might be leaving. Not when Sam was being the best friend ever and especially not, when she was around. 

He really wanted her to like him. He wanted her to be a part of this group and hang out with her and not leave before any of this could happen.

When leaving would change from an idea to reality, there would be a shift in their friendship. Why bother when he was out of here soon?

No. He had to keep this to himself. At least for now.

***

It got late quick. Sam, who seemed to have an endless power source hiding somewhere in that big, goofy hair of his, was sitting on the couch with Abigail, chatting away. He pretended to listen, but after some time he noticed how little sense him being here made. 

Sebastian gave Sam’s shoulder a quick squeeze, telling him that he’d head home. Both of his friends told him goodbye and continued talking. He overheard Penny’s name but didn’t care enough to stay.

The bell jingled behind him, just as he lit a cigarette. He turned around, surprised to see Hannah coming after him.

“Hey night-smoker.”

“Good one.”

“Hey! I’m really proud of that one. Much better superhero title than never-comes-out-of-his-room-man.”

“And just as true.” She smiled and this time he gave a smile back. He liked how it made her face light up a little.

“You headed home?” He nodded, then shook his head. 

“I don’t know actually. If I go home now I gotta face my mom. If I stay I have to listen to Sam and Abi. Don’t know which is worse.”

“You can walk me home.” She grinned, obviously making a joke. 

Her face fell when he shrugged and replied “sure.”

“Hold up, you don’t actually have to walk me home.”

“I know. But I like walking around. Might as well be with you.” 

That came out a little meaner than he intended to. He liked her. She was nice. There was no need for him to act like he didn’t care about her. She had already melted through his icy surface. 

She deserved nice Sebastian.

***

“Sorry.” They were walking for some time when he finally got out of his thoughts.

“For what?”

“Earlier. I want to walk you home because I like hanging out with you. I’m not just here to wait out until I can go home.”

“I know. No worries. But thanks for letting your guard down.”

She knew. Of course she did. 

“You get it”, he assumed.

“Yeah.”

“You don’t seem like that. Sorry if this comes out wrong. But you’re so-“

“Open? Yeah I hear that a lot. When I was younger I was much worse. By now I figured out how to socialize without hating everybody all the time. I get a lot of alone time on the farm to balance it out.”

“I do that with my work too.”

“What do you do?”

“Freelance programming.”

“Python?”

“Ruby.”

“Oh, a modernist.”

“You know your way around programming?”

“I tried it for a bit. Taught myself PHP and C++ when I was a teenager.”

“Let me guess. You had a Wordpressblog.”

“Oh yeah. That’s where it all started. I was shit at it tho.”

“I started on Tumblr so no worries.” He laughed and was met with a surprised gaze.

“You’re laughing.”

He stopped. “Yeah.”

“You don’t do that that often.” She seemed fascinated. Like she’d just discovered some ancient relict.

“I don’t really have that much to laugh about.”

Silence fell over them after that. They walked for a little while like that. His brain went over every single word in their conversation. His anxiety analysed everything over and over again. 

“Can I ask you something?” He looked over to her. She bit her lip, looking nervous. Hannah wasn’t the type of person to ask, before asking a question. This must be something personal.

“Shoot.”

“Why does your family talk about you, like you are some kind of antisocial asshole?”

He thought about that for a second.

“I guess to them that’s who I am.”

“But you’re not.”

“I am. Just not to everyone.”

“Oh bullshit.” She let out her anger by kicking a stone out of her way. “You need time, but once I got to know you better-“

“That’s the thing”, he was genuinely touched by her reaction, “my family never really made an effort to get to know me.” 

A dam opened inside his head and he just began talking. 

“They never tried to get me. Demetrius is my stepfather, Maru my half-sister. They got their own family going. I’m the intruder. They like technical things and work in their lab. The fact that I like programming and working on my motorcycle – obviously loving technical shit too – never even occurs to them. I’m the weird boy who lives downstairs. Any my mom. Goddamn my mom. She tried for some time. Making me help her with some work. But when I told her, that I was working – sitting on my computer because that’s where programming usually happens – she told me that it wasn’t actual work to sit in front of a screen. Like I’m not doing anything but looking at cat videos all damn day. She told me to go out more, I told her that people make me nervous. She told me that depression goes away if you just spend time with friends, I told her to give me space. They gave up. I was this angsty sixteen-year-old boy who wanted to be part of the family and they just stopped caring. So I accepted it and stopped trying as well. It’s easier being the asshole of the family, if you’re actually being an asshole.” 

He stopped, realizing that he’s just spilled his entire life out in front of a relative stranger.

Shit.

‘Oh Sebastian, I’m so sorry for that.’

‘I feel so bad for you.’

‘Blabla I pity you.’

He waited for the answer he knew would come. But instead Hannah just shrugged, looking at the stars.

“I guess you’re right.”

That came unexpected. He didn’t really know what to do with that. Or with himself. What do normal people do with their hands when they walk? Was he even a functioning human right now? 

Thankfully, Hannah started talking again. Sparing him the growing discomfort with his own thoughts.

“I got bullied in school. My father told me that that’s just how life was. My life was miserable, and I believed him, when he told me that. So I started to believe that life was supposed to be shit. I never really had friends, never got out of my room, never cared for socializing. Better to be alone than to be the outsider who tries to get friends. Same as you basically. If I pretend like I don’t need anyone, it looks like me being alone is on purpose.”

“How did you get out of that mindset?”

She chuckled. “Friends. When I got to University I started completely fresh. Nobody there knew any of the stories surrounding my life before. They were nice to me, because they didn’t hear a story about me in fifth grade and ignored me for it till senior year.”

“People are shit.”

“Not all of them. I guess being in a small town makes it impossible to get out of it.”

He nodded. “I’m thankful for Sam. He moved her a couple years ago. Like you said, no knowledge of any stories about me. He got to know the actual me. Not the person my mom talks about, when she had a glass of wine too many.”

“Well I’m glad that I got to know the real you too.”

“Wait until you actually come to one of our game-nights. You will totally regret saying this.”

They looked at each other smiling and Sebastian realized, that they were almost at her house.

“This is me. Thanks for walking with me.”

“No problem. Can I expect you to actually show up tomorrow?”

“Hm”, she smiled, “I guess you can. We’re friends now after all.”

They were indeed. He faced the road, ready to walk home as he heard her curse.

“Fucking hell.” The British accent made it sound about 300% more aggressive.

“What’s going on?” He turned around, watching her staring at her phone.

“I got 45 missed messages and calls.”

“Fuck. Who is it?”

“Sam.”

What? Why would Sam text her that much? And call that often? His mind wandered back to the tavern where he had sat with Abi, chatting the time away. Oh god, did something happen to her? 

He checked his phone, but there were no messages for him. 

Why did Sam text her and not him? 

What the hell had happened?

He looked to Hannah, who seemed to be in pure shock. Taking a few steps forward he forced her to look up to him.

“Hannah, what’s going on?”

She bit her lip, looking conflicted. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

To say it sounded half-hearted was the understatement of the year.

“Yeah right.” The sarcasm rolled out of his mouth before he could stop it. “Tell me.”

“He needs help.”

“Why?” He shook his head, “nevermind. Let’s go!”

“No!” She took his hand, holding him back from storming off into the direction of Sam’s home.

He started to get annoyed. “Why? What aren’t you telling me?”

“He”, she struggled with her words, “oh fuck. Okay just come with me. But don’t talk okay?”

She started running and Sebastian had no choice as to follow her into the night.


	8. In which Sam is honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: Yes

Sam opened the door, looking at Hannah with relief. His mind was racing and just the look of her slowed it down.

“Sam, don’t be mad.” Not the first thing he thought she would say.

“Why would I be-“ he stopped when Sebastian stepped into his field of view. Fuck. No. Not now. Not him.

“Come on, let us in.” She smiled softly at him until he made room for them to get in. 

“Where’s your mom?” Hannah looked around the empty house, “and Vincent?” She headed for his room, leaving Sebastian behind. 

His friend looked uncomfortable and worried. Sam felt crushed. He never wanted him to find it out that way.

“Are you coming?”

The men stepped into Sam’s room, Sebastian closing the door behind them. Not that it mattered.

“Mom’s with Dr. Harvey.” He noticed both of the instantly perking up. “No, don’t worry. She’s fine. Well she is now. She had a little”, he glanced over to Sebastian standing in the corner hugging himself, “situation.”

“It’s alright Sam. Don’t worry about Sebastian being here. Just focus on me, okay. What happened and where is your brother. You scared the shit out of me when I checked my phone and saw a hundred missed calls.”

“It wasn’t that many.”

“Don’t change the subject.”

He wondered why Sebastian was here. Were they together earlier? It had been a good hour since Sebastian told him he was heading home. Why didn’t he tell him he was hitting it off with Hannah? It was Sam who told him they would be great friends in the first place.

The look at Hannah’s face returned him to reality. Right. Not now.

“When I came home I found a notice from Marnie on the door. She noticed Vincent being outdoors when she headed for the bar. So she took him home with her. I went inside to see mom sleeping on the kitchen table. She had been crying herself to sleep. She was exhausted. I called Harvey and then you.” 

Sam noticed how Sebastian looked at him with a mixture of shock, pity and a shit ton of questions. Hannah ignored him. She pulled him over to her in the bed, one hand on his arm.

“Are you okay? Do you need something?”

“I’m mostly fine but I don’t think I’ll even catch half a second of sleep if I stay here.”

“I wouldn’t leave you here even if that wasn’t the case.”

He was so happy that she was here. So happy he even forgot that Sebastian was there. That was until his best friend sneezed. 

Both Sam and Hannah looked over to him sniffling into a paper towel. He caught their glimpses, looking like he just got busted stealing something. 

He looked adorable. Eyes wide, expression obviously torn between feeling uncomfortable and having to sneeze again. 

Sam wasn’t mad that he was here. It was just something he wasn’t ready to share with him yet. 

“Sorry”, he mumbled.

“So, Sam”, Hannah returned her attention to him, “I know you wanted to wait for talking to Sebastian.” 

He nodded. 

Hannah continued, “and you know that I deeply support that, despite telling you that he is your best friend and deserves to know how you feel, right?” 

He hated the direction this was going. “I know.”

Hannah smiled, “good. I think it’s time you tell him.” She noticed how nervous he got and met his eyes, “not everything. Just enough so he understands, okay?”

Sam cleared his throat, feeling like something big just hit him. He felt dizzy.

“You know my dad’s in military, right?” Sebastian nodded. 

“Mom doesn’t do so well lately. There’s been news about the region he is in. She’s been worse ever since. Crying a lot, not taking care of Vince, that kinda stuff. She’s been blacking out a lot lately. Crying, sleeping. Nothing else. She even stopped cooking and you know how much she loves to cook. It’s been really shitty.”

Silence. Sam felt like a part of his heart had been ripped out. Hannah was right. He should have told Sebastian sooner. The way his friend looked at him made him feel like pure shit. 

“There’s more.” He was surprised at his own words. 

“I haven’t really been sleeping the last months. When I have the time to catch some hours of sleep I’m either interrupted by Mom needing my help, Vincent crawling into my bed because he can’t sleep or”, he took a deep breath, “because I get nightmares. Like actual night terrors, where I feel like I’m dying. I’ve been staying at Hannah’s lately when it’s bad like that.”

Sebastian just looked over to him for a couple of seconds. He then came over, pulling Sam up onto his feet and into a tight hug. 

It was rare that Sebastian hugged people, usually it was Sam forcing him to. Showing emotion like that – especially if they weren’t alone – was something special. And he appreciated it. 

“Don’t ever think you can’t tell me stuff like that ever again, okay?” He heard Sebastian say.

“Okay.”

They stayed like that and Sam wasn’t sure how Hannah had done it, but he was thankful for what ever she did.


	9. In which Hannah is tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: Yes

She felt like the world had slowed down. The sun came creeping up over the ocean when they left Sam’s. Sebastian walked with them until they were at her house again. 

As Sam went on inside she called Sebastian back.

“Hey Sebastian!” The light jog she had to make to catch him made her wince. “Shit I’m so done for.”

He blinked, “what is it?”

“Well first off all I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for being so hesitant to bring you with me.” He shrugged, “I understand. Glad it worked out tho.”

“You don’t look too happy right now.”

He didn’t look her in the eyes. “I’m a shit friend.”

What? 

“What?”

“It’s true. I never even noticed how he was because all I ever do is sit in that god forsaken room of mine.”

She hit his arm. It wasn’t hard, but she could tell how surprised he was. “You’re an idiot! And a great friend. It was his decision not to tell you.”

“I’m his best friend. I should know shit like that. You wanna know how I felt when he called you and not me to help him?”

She was devastated to hear the little cracks in his voice. “You felt like a shitty friend. But you’re not. He called me because he knew that I was there. It’s like we said earlier, someone without a history in this town. Someone who doesn’t know his mother like you do. It’s the exact same thing. And now you know and can help as well.”

He looked up, his dark eyes meeting hers for the first time since they had stood at her gate a couple hours ago.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah you better fucking thank me. Now go home you look like crap.” She convinced her tired body to grin. As he walked down the road she realized that she had forgotten something.

“Wait!” He turned around once again.

“I almost forgot.” She smiled. “About what we talked about earlier.” He visibly clenched. 

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, okay? Your family doesn’t know what an amazing person they dismissed, when they gave up.”

At first, he didn’t react and Hannah feared, that that had been too much. But then he cracked one of his rare, small smiles.

***

She came back to her house to find Sam snuggled up in her bed, searching for something to watch on Netflix. She got rid of her pants and walked to the bathroom to clean her makeup off. 

Sam had been sleeping here at least once a week since the first incident. It was nice not being alone all the time and yet it wasn’t frequent enough to make her alone time suffer. She began feeling really comfortable around him the third time, when he had spend the night snoring into her ear.

She got back in bed, leaning on his warm shoulder, falling asleep within seconds.


	10. In which Sebastian figures something out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: Yes

“I’m really not sure doing this today is a good idea. I’m fucking tired mate.”

“You promised me.”

“Ugh. Fine. We’ll be over at 5.”

Sebastian stared at his phone. He had a good two hours before they would come over. He felt like a truck had hit him. Damn he was tired.

The sound of the coffeemaker rattle in the background as he thought about what had happened in the last twelve hours of his life.

Hannah.

Watching her with Sam last night made him realize why his friend had told him, that she was exactly like him, after they’d first met. 

Talking to her, he thought that she was more like him than Sam. But she wasn’t. Sure, social anxiety and family issues were something they shared, but that nice, warm smile on the outside whilst hurting on the inside was something she obviously shared with Sam.

He felt like an idiot for never noticing how bad his friend felt.

One and a half hours. 

His room looked like a mess. He took a quick shower, trying to make his hair look half decent, before starting to clean up. Music blasted through his speakers. That was probably why he didn’t hear the knock.

“Hi Sebastian.”

Fucking hell. 

He jumped at the sound of her voice.

“Oh sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

He turned down the music. “At least now we’re even.”

“Uhm, I’m in your room. You’re not alone at night standing in the freaking forest.”

“I’m never gonna lend you my lighter ever again.”

She just laughed.

“You’re early.”

“I know”, it made him nervous how quickly after arriving she went on strolling through his room. Looking at his bookshelves full of nerdy stuff. 

“Sam wanted to go home and change, and I’ve seen enough of him. I do not need to watch him change.”

A weird feeling crawled up Sebastian’s throat. It was the same feeling he had the night before when he heard about Sam staying with her. Was that jealousy?

“Nice collection you got here.”

He hated his pale skin for showing redness so easily. “Thanks.” 

“Getting to know you these past hours I must say, wouldn’t have pegged you for such a nerd.”

“Yeah”, he scratched the back of his head, “most people wouldn’t.”

“I like it.”

He got red again. Damn it.

“Oh, I almost forgot”, she scooted over to her bag, “I brought a snack.”

His eyebrows rose as he spotted the grapes in her hand. 

“Grapes?” She nodded. “They’re frozen.” 

“What?” Before he could stop it, she reached out and handed him a couple of hard, cold grapes.

“Frozes grapes?”

“Your eyebrows are out of control again today.”

“You brought frozen grapes, they have every right to elevate themselves.”

“Ohhhh, to elevate”, she said in a mocking tone, wiggling her eyebrows up and down. “Just try them. You got a freezer? They need to stay cold.”

His door opened again. Sam jumped in the room, smiling as bride like the sun. No sign of the last night on his face. Probably because of staying with Hannah, the voice in his head whispered. 

He ignored it.

“Nice! Frozen grapes!”

“Oh, so you know about them too, huh? Freezer’s over there”, he pointed out to Hannah, who was still standing in the middle of his room.

“She taught me. So good, man!”

Sam stuffed five of them in his mouth at once while she put the rest of them in the fridge. Sebastian looked at the grapes in his hand, popping one of them in his mouth. It tasted amazing and he lowkey hated that.

“Good, right?” Sam looked at him like a child on Christmas looked at a face Santa Clause. 

“We were just talking about Sebastian’s collection over there.” Hannah sat herself down on the sofa.

“That’s nothing, you should see his porn collection.”

“Sam!” Sebastian felt the heat rise up in his cheeks.

“Oh, I bet he showed it to you.” She chuckled, eating another grape, watching Sam go red as well.

“Right. Should’ve seen that one coming. Low blow, Hannah.”

Sebastian felt like he had to intervene, “really Sam, I don’t think saying something like ‘low blow’ will make it better.” Hannah snorted.

“Right, collections. We were talking about collections.” Sam looked over to the well-stocked shelves. Sebastian was quite proud of them. 

“I mean Seb, you have a nice thing going here, but you gotta see hers. The music alone reaches from Spice Girls, Aretha Franklin, AC/DC, My Chemical Romance, All time low and Eminem to Childish Gambino, Slipknot and Taylor Swift. It’s freaking wild!”

Hannah looked embarrassed and amused at the same time. She looked over to him with a slight smile. Sam was still out of control, rambling about her.

“Taylor Swift huh?”

“That’s not all! She drinks Redbull out of wineglasses-“ 

“That’s just showing how classy I am.”

“-and she-“

“Okay man. That’s enough.” He held his arms up to stop his friend from talking.

“If that’s how he talks about me when I’m in the room, I don’t wanna know how he is when I’m not there.”

“It’s actually fantastic. You should’ve listened to the phone call he gave me right after you two had met.”

“Oh, there was a phone call?”

“You bet there was. He described you as ‘him, but with boobs’.”

“Is that so?” She gave Sam a surprised glance, then looked down her shirt. “Well I guess at least he’s right about the boobs-part.”

That took him by surprise and he started laughing harder than indented. Sam was having a hard time trying to look like he was mad at her. 

“So, you like MCR, hm?” He tried changing the subject after being able to breathe again.

Hannah threw her head back, yelling out “yes!” She ate another grape, “I used to be obsessed with them when I was a teenager. Broke my heart when they separated.” Same, Sebastian thought, but didn’t say. 

“I’m not surprised. She used to be emo.”

Sam’s sentence made the other two snap their heads in his direction.

“Huh?” Sebastian had a hard time believing that.

“How the hell do you-“, looking back at Hannah he noticed that she had gone full tomato. Oh my god. It was true?

“I found your MySpace.”

That was probably the worst sentence imaginable for any former scene-kid. Sebastian held back his grin.

“You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“I deleted that years ago.”

“If that would be the case, I wouldn’t have been able to find it.”

“Liar.”

“Nope.”

“Prove it.”

“Do you really want me to?”

“No. Fucking hell. That thing cannot still be online!”

Sam rushed to the second computer, typing in his password, opening a browser as quickly as possible. Hannah behind him, clenching her fists. Sebastian was still sitting on the couch trying to figure out what was happening.

“Oh fuck no.”

“It’s amazing.”

He pushed himself off the couch, lingering over Sam’s shoulder. What he saw made him more than happy. 

A small, younger looking version of Hannah smiled at the camera. The angle of the camera brought him back to his own profile. 

Thank god that was over. 

Her hair was coloured a deep purple, her face covered in what looked like it wanted to be edgy makeup. 

There were way too many ‘xo’s on her page. People named ‘Xx_dragonhearts_xX’ and ‘cuuuuutiepiexoxoxo<3’ were listed as featured. She even had one of those cringy ‘name-picture-collages’ on it. 

It was truly beautiful. 

“A relict from the past.” He said breathless.

“An abomination.” She replied. “Please tell me you can delete that for good.”

“Not a problem”, Sebastian pushed Sam off the chair and started working on her profile, “did it with mine years ago. You gotta delete the original. MySpace is now some weird music-page, if you delete your account there it still holds the copy on a different page that one might find. By the way, Sam, how did you find this? Even if there is a copy of the page, it sure as hell won’t show up when you just google a name.”

“I found it under pictures. On the third page there was one of these bad boys”, he pointed at a picture of Hannah with a raccoon tail in her hair, “and I just had to click on it.”

“Why the hell did you google me and went on the third page of the picture search?”

“I was curious!”

“You still know your password?”

“Capital C; ookie; capital M; onster; seventeen in numbers.”

“CookieMonster17, a classic.”

“Shut up.”

“This is Christmas to me, I will surely not shut up.” Sebastian truly felt amazing. Another former emo/scene-kid in town. He thought of Abigail with her goth-ish style and fought the urge to shake his head. She did most certainly not count. She was a modern goth, not true 2007-emo-aestetic.

“At least I got over the phase.”

“Did you tho?”

She looked at him like he’d gone mad. “Yeah, pretty sure.” 

He smirked. “You still dye your hair, wear dark makeup, dress exclusively in black and listen to all the old bands.” Sam looked at Hannah like he’d just been struck by an epiphany.

“Oh my god. He’s right. The only thing separating you two is the fringe.”

She squinted her eyes at him. “I might still enjoy certain elements of it, but he’s way more”, she looked at Sebastian, “well… obvious about it.”

“That’s true, gotta give you that.” Sebastian nodded, “or to phrase it differently, you can pull off the style without automatically looking emo.” 

Sam grinned, “you should see her with her septum. Looks badass as fuck. Not one bit emo. More like the kinda person that usually beats them up.”

There was the sting again. The little voice telling him, that she showed Sam her piercing. He probably saw all of her tattoos as well. He told the voice to shut up once again. “A septum. Interesting.”

“You better stay silent, forgot about your own nose-ring?”

“He has a nose-ring?”

This was not going in a good direction. Sebastian remembered the nose-ring. It looked ridiculous. “Let’s ignore that piece of information.”

“I don’t think so.” Hannah grinned. “You gotta show me that one day.” He smiled and nodded, feeling better by the second. 

“So how about we start playing now instead of talking about you two emos.” Sam smiled his wide smile and leaped over to the table at the other end of the room to set up. 

Sebastian closed his eyes for a moment, stretching his tired arms. When he opened them again he looked Hannah straight in the eyes. Before giving his face the chance to turn red again he turned to the table and helped Sam set everything up.

***

It was shortly after eleven when they left, sneaking out of the door, trying not to wake up the rest of the house. Hannah was giggling like a school girl. She finished the game with a top rating and had spend the last hour mocking Sam, who had died earlier on due to her killing him off.

When they were finally gone, Sebastian took a deep breath, almost immediately lighting a cigarette. He usually didn’t smoke in his room, but he couldn’t bring himself to go outside. 

Smoke curled up under the ceiling. If his mother knew that he was smoking in here, he wouldn’t live to see another day. He put it out on the ashtray next to his computer and let himself fall into bed.

As his thoughts circled around in his head he felt the sting again, this time allowing himself to analyse it. 

Deep down he knew what it meant. 

The sting when he thought about her and Sam, the comfort around her, the fact that he wanted oh so desperately for her to like him. 

He was falling in love with Hannah. 

And there was nothing he could do about it.


	11. In which Sam is a wingman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: Yes

Abigail wasn’t the kind of person to talk an awful lot about her feelings. She was reserved, tried way too hard to be edgy and ignored the parts of herself that she didn’t deem fit for her depiction of herself. 

Sam had gotten used to this. He knew that Abi did pretty good on her own and eventually came around when she needed help with something. 

When he opened his eyes this morning, seeing her peek through his window, he knew that this was one of these times. It wasn’t even seven in the morning.

He yawned as he opened the window, turning around to hunt for some clothes and his friend climbed inside.

“We have a door, you know.”

“I texted you to let me in, but you were in coma.”

“It’s Sunday morning and I had a somehow rough weekend.”

“Cry me a river.”

He frowned. She didn’t know what had happened. But it still felt like a kick in the gut to hear that. “What’s up?” She looked around, “I dunno.”

“You don’t know why you came to my house at this time on a Sunday, kicking me out of my bed to let you in through my window?”

She sighed and sat down on his bed. 

“Abi?”

“Yeah?” 

“Just tell me.” 

He remembered their talk on Friday night. Penny had been a frequent topic that night and somehow, Sam knew that she would be today too. “It’s about Penny, right?”

Abi’s cheeks reddened. She nodded, still looking around in his room. 

“You remember Friday when I told you that I thought about asking her out?” 

He did. Abi’s massive crush for the town-teacher wasn’t news to him. Penny probably liked her back, she was just so damn shy. He understood why Abigail had a problem dealing with her feelings on this.

“You asked her yet?” 

She shook her head. “I really want to. I mean, we had this talk last week and I thought we hit it off and then I meet her in the shop yesterday, wanting to ask her, and she just ignores me.” She sounded frustrated. 

“Maybe it’s the surrounding. Your dad’s shop is such a public place.”

“I know but ignoring me? That shit hurts!”

Sam hummed in agreement, “you’re right that was shitty.”

“And I know her mother isn’t easy and all, but the least she could do is treat me like a person when she’s around. She won’t even look at me in the bar. It’s ridiculous. She’s a grown up for fucks sake!”

A knock on Sam’s door made both of them jump. 

“Sammy?” His mother came in, not even batting an eye that Abi was in the room with him. 

“Could you make Vince breakfast? I gotta lay down for a bit.” He felt Abi’s look in him when he nodded, giving his mother a slight smile. “Will do, mum.”

The door shut, and Abi let out a deep breath. “She looks rough. Everything okay?” 

He nodded, not feeling like sharing the problems of his family with another person. “Yeah she’s just tired.” 

Abi didn’t ask any further questions. She followed him as he made his way to his brothers room, knocking lightly.

“Vince?” 

He opened the door and saw his brother sitting on his bed, ruffling through his short brown hair. 

“Sam!” He grinned. His eyes wandered to Abigail and lit up again, “and Abi!” He liked it, when Sam’s friends were over. 

“C’mon get dressed, we gotta get you something to eat before Miss Penny comes to get you for school.” Abi stiffened behind him. 

“Shit. On a Sunday?” He shrugged, heading over to the kitchen, “she wants to take them to the forest today. I guess weekends aren’t really a thing when you only have two children in a class.” 

She looked to the ceiling, “damn I gotta get outta here then. I can’t face her right now.”

Sam poured milk into his brothers cereal and waited for Vincent to come running to the kitchen. “Here you go, buddy.” 

He faced Abi again, “if you don’t want to see her you better leave soon. It’s almost nine and she said she wanted to get him around that time.” 

Abi nodded, giving Vincent a pat on the head. “Okay. Thanks Sam. Sorry for turning up on your window like this.” 

“No problem, anytime really.”

She walked past them to the front door opening it. Sam heard her exhale sharply. He leaned back to look down the hallway. Just in time to catch Penny looking after Abi. Her head was red, and she seemed more than uncomfortable.

“Hey Penny”, he gave her his best ‘I didn’t see anything please don’t be embarrassed’-face. 

It helped a little. 

“Hey Sam. How are you? May I come in?” 

“Yeah come in! I’m good.” 

“Hello Vincent!” She sat down next to his little brother, who was madly in love with her and of course began giggling on the spot. It was adorable.

“Did I just see Abigail coming out of your house?” She asked, trying way to hard to make her tone sound light. 

“Yeah.” He grinned, “she ehm, Vince you wanna go brush your teeth?” He waited for his brother to disappear into the bathroom. 

“She told me about your little meeting in the shop.” 

Penny looked down, her cheeks went dark red again. “I thought so.” 

He sat down and smiled at her.

“Look, I know it’s none of my business, but Abi’s my friend and she’s really hurt by this. Why did you ignore her like that?” 

She was still looking down, drawing circles with her finger on the table. “It’s just so out in the open. When we’re alone I feel like I can tell her everything but when I know that half the town and her parents are watching us… I just can’t deal with that.”

“I see”, he breathed in audibly, “can I suggest something?” She looked up and met his eyes, “sure.” 

“I’ve been friends with Abi for a long, long time now. She acts as if she doesn’t care what people think, but in reality, she does care a great deal. Most of all, she want’s to be recognized. She needs at least some attention, or she feels let down. You don’t have to hold her hand in public or something”, Penny looked down again, face completely flushed. 

Sam knew he had to be careful how to phrase his next words, “but why don’t you ask her if she wants to take a walk with you. Alone. No other people involved. And talk to her when there are people around. Nobody is going to think any of it. Just give her something. She’s my friend and I hate to see her hurt like this.”

Vincent came back inside, efficiently ending their conversation. Penny gave him a quick goodbye and left with Vincent to go get Jas. Sam went on to practice his guitar for some time, trying to be as quiet as possible, not to wake his mother. 

It was almost the evening when Vincent came back. As they sat down to eat dinner he received a text from Abigail:

“SAM! She asked me out! SHE! ASKED! ME! OUT!”

The text was followed by hundreds of emojis. He smiled into his soup.


	12. In which Hannah got asked out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: Yes

She was early again, and she knew it. But never in a thousand years was she expecting THIS, as she opened the door to Sebastian’s room.

“Hey, your mom let me i- omg what are you doing?”

He was hunched over his sink, standing in front of a mirror with gloves on his hands and a brush in one of them.

“Dyeing my hair. What are you doing here so damn early?” 

She grinned but bit it away when she noticed how flustered he became. “I was bored. Didn’t expect to see this.”

How cute was that? An emo-boy in his mid-twenties, cheeks red, with a look of murder in his eyes to overplay it. 

“Well I didn’t expect someone to see this. Can you turn the music down?” She did, looking over to him, handling his fringe. 

“How often do you dye it?”

“About every three weeks. I really don’t want people to see my natural hairline.” She came closer, blinking as the chemicals reached her eyes and nose.

“How often do you dye yours?” She shook her head, “less often than you. Every five-six weeks or so. Just refreshed them last week.”

“Doesn’t working in the sun bleach them?”

She nodded, “yeah but I don’t mind it that much. People don’t notice that. It’s the kinda thing that only you see in the mirror.”

“Yeah but still, can’t have that.” He was focussed on not getting the dye all over his neck.

“You seem pretty skilled.”

“Been doing that for 10 years now.”

“Me too but I still mess up.”

He sighed, “yeah same. Do you mind giving me a hand?”

“What?” She felt the blood rush to her ears, “you want me to help you dye your hair?” He shrugged, but she saw him tap his feet nervously under the table. 

“Sam sometimes helps me. I usually fuck up the back, living with black spots there for days.”

She nodded, “okay sure.” He handed her a pair of black latex gloves and waited for her to put them on. 

“Give me the brush please?” He did. 

They stayed silent for a while. She tried applying the dye evenly. It was much more stressful, when it wasn’t her own head.

“You’re a ginger.” She smiled.

“You didn’t figure that out by looking at my mom and half-sister?”

“Dunno. Makes sense I guess. But still, I never pictured you as one.”

“What’s your natural colour? I can tell it’s light, but not exactly what colour.”

At this point she was just doing his whole head, not only the back. He didn’t seem to mind. 

“I’m a blonde. Well, if you wanna call it that. It’s dark blonde. Looks really dumb actually. I dyed my hair a lighter blonde when I was younger. Then I gave up on that and went dark instead. Much, much easier.”

“Hm. Can’t really picture you as a blonde either.”

“I hear that a lot. People usually think black is my natural colour.”

“Yeah that doesn’t happen with me. My mom’s too much of a redhead for that.”

“What about your dad?”

He stiffened but relaxed shortly after again. “I don’t know. Never even seen a photo. He left her when she was pregnant with me, she never even told him he had a kid.” 

She stayed silent, respecting him opening up. It was probably a heavy topic for him. 

“He was a fuckboy, she was basically still a teenager. Shit happens.” Sebastian shrugged, making her curse. “Fuck, don’t do that. Do you want dye all over your bloody ears?” He laughed, looking at her through the mirror in front of them.

“What about your family?”

She sighed, “not much to tell, really. My mom died a couple years ago. Car crash. My father had never been a very nice person. My sister took off to the States after mom died, I followed her. She lives in Zuzu City actually, but we don’t see each other that often. The end.” 

She made a grimace at herself. “Exciting, I know.”

“Sounds like you left a lot out.”

“Well you know”, she gazed off in the distance, “my childhood wasn’t exactly a blast. You already know that.” He took of his gloves and reached for her arm. “Sorry bout that, and your mom.” She froze for a second, taking in this small moment of mutual understanding.

She continued her work on his head and he took his hand back to himself. “There, you’re all set up. Shouldn’t take too long till you have to take it out again.” 

“Thank you.”

Ten minutes passed, with them just lightly chatting, listening to music and enjoying how easy it was to exist around each other. She didn’t feel like she had to entertain him, and he made no such efforts on her as well. It was nice for a change.

He went to the bathroom and soon after she heard the water running. Her phone buzzed, and she got the message that Sam was on his way here. She was a little sad about that. The time she spend with Sebastian was precious to her. 

She loved Sam, but with him she always felt exhausted after longer times of hanging out. But that wasn’t all of it. Sebastian was someone, who she had to work for, to gain his friendship and trust. 

The fact, that he had let her in made her feel beyond special.

She was ripped from her thoughts as he came back to the room with a towel around his shoulders. She grinned, “hold up. Gotta fix that.” 

Before he could protest she took the towel and wrapped it twice around his head to tuck it in under. He looked adorable pouting at her with the towel-turban on his head. 

The door opened, and Sam came in, giving Sebastian a quick look before frantically starting to laugh. 

“Oh my god…”, he reached for his chest, gasping for air, “you look so… I can’t! This is beautiful!” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes, but Hannah spotted the grin he tried biting down. It took Sam another couple of minutes to calm down, seeing as every time he finally got to breathe, he started laughing again. 

“Can we start now?”

“You look like a character from Desperate Housewives.”

“Do you want to be warrior?”

“Or The Real Houswives.”

“I’ll take that as a yes, Hannah? Spy?”

“Yes please.”

“Or the Nanny. Omg you look like Fran Drescher!”

She giggled at the thought of that. Sebastian looked done for. “Don’t blame me! He has a point, you really do resemble Fran Drescher right now. You’re a lady!”

“I hate both of you.”

“I’m sure you do.”

They set up the game and after half an hour of teasing, Sebastian pulled the towel off his head to smack Sam with it. Hannah screamed as she got into crossfire and sacrificed her safety to place a figurine on the board. 

“Sam I killed you again.”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Damn it! Sebastian please resurrect me!”

“Over my dead body!”

Sam sat down, biting his lip as Hannah removed his warrior from the field. “That’s what you got for fighting during game-time.”

“You could have killed Sebastian instead!”

“Oh, don’t worry, he’s next.”

“Hah! Bring it!”

They continued with Sam sitting next to the table like a bored child. “Hey Hannah, I heard Alex asked you out.”

Silence fell over the room and Hannah hated herself for killing him off. She glanced over to Sebastian, who tried to look like he was focussed on his next move. 

Sam was grinning like an evil genius. 

“Yeah.” She said as nonchalantly as possible. It was true. He did ask her out a couple days ago. 

“So, you’re going out with him soon?”

“Nope.”

Sam seemed happy about her answer. “Why not? Omg, did you tell him no? Please say you recorded that. I would give my left leg to see his face after he got turned down.”

“You don’t like Alex, huh?”

“He’s a show off. And he thinks everybody just has to love him because he’s such a great athlete.”

“I see. Well sorry, I didn’t record it. But I did tell him no.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sebastian tilting his head a little bit. She wondered if he liked Alex as little as Sam obviously did.

“Can we stop discussing this now?”

“This is a small town. You’ll never get out of discussing those things.”

“Oh really”, she smirked, “well then, Sam, tell me who it is that you like.” 

To her surprise he didn’t even flinch. 

“I had the biggest crush on Penny when I first moved here. Funnily enough I just played wingman for her and Abi. And speaking of Abi”, he wiggled his eyebrows and looked over to Sebastian, who let out a groan.

“Oh, so those two, huh?” She grinned, it wasn’t that surprising. 

“She was in love with him”, Sam ignored the look Sebastian gave him, “and lil Sebby here broke her heart in two. So, now that you know that everybody in this town is either related or wants to be, tell me yours!”

She laughed and leaned towards him over the table, saying in a conspiratorially tone, “well what if you were my crush?” 

Sam smirked. One hand on his chest he claimed loudly, “well I would be honoured of course! And also heartbroken to tell you, that I don’t feel this way.” 

He rose his arms dramatically over his head. 

“Well isn’t that just a shame. All my love for you is wasted!” 

They broke out into laughter.

“Look at me sitting on the table of the drama-club-kids.” Sebastian looked playfully annoyed. 

She fist-bumped his shoulder and smiled, “don’t worry uncool angsty emo-teen, there’s always room at the drama-club-table for people like you. Who else would play the oh so important role of tree number seven in this year’s rendition of Romeo and Juliet?”

“I’m Juliet by the way!” Sam flipped imaginary long hair over his shoulder and by this point, not even Sebastian could hold back his laughter. 

“Juliet, my Juliet!” Hannah cried out. 

“Oh Romeo!” Sam whistled in his highest voice. 

It was beautiful.

Their happiness was undermined by Sam looking at the clock, rushing off to dinner at his home. 

One second ago they had been laughing, now there was nothing left but slightly uncomfortable silence, as everybody was thinking about the events at Sam’s a couple weeks ago. 

“I should get going as well”, Hannah said, shortly after Sam’s departure. 

Sebastian shrugged, “I’ll walk you out.” She took two steps at once and almost screamed in surprise as she walked right into Robin at the top of the stairs. 

“Hey Robin!” She smiled widely.

“Oh, hey Hannah! I just finished off the plans for your new shed. We should be able starting it off next week.” 

“That’s awesome, thank you so much!” 

“I gotta thank you. You are the one who keeps food on our table right now.” 

She flushed, “I’m just happy to get the farm going.”

She turned to the door as Robin held her back, “please stay. Dinner is almost ready, and Demetrius wanted to discuss something with you about that old cave on your property.” 

“I don’t know.” She glanced over to Sebastian. 

He shrugged again, “don’t look at me, stay if you want to.” 

She nodded, “okay then.”

“Great!” Robin took her hand and forced her to the open kitchen, “Sebby, are you eating with us too?” 

“Sure.” She did not expect that, Hannah could tell. The second they were in the kitchen Robin couldn’t help but hug her. 

“Thank you so much”, she whispered, “He’s been so much more social ever since you became his friend. Oh and by the way, you and Sam really make a nice couple!”

There was more than one thing popping up in Hannah’s head at once. First of all, Sebastian was more social? How was that her doing? And what did that even mean? He’d never been unsocial. 

Secondly, did she just assume Sam and her were together? Or did Sebastian tell her that to get her off his back. He had mentioned that Robin always wanted to pair him up with someone. 

“Welcome to the family”, she heard a whisper in her ear. 

Sebastian grinned, “now picture that every day for 26 years and you might start to get why my superhero name is never-comes-out-of-his-room-man.” 

She snorted, pulling Robins attention. Sebastian leaned back from her and excused himself to the bathroom. 

Robin came closer again. She looked worried, “you know I’m really happy that you are his friend. But you two would have made such a nice-“ Demetrius entered the kitchen and Hannah had never been so happy to see him.

Sebastian really didn’t exaggerate his mother’s need to get him a girlfriend. 

“Demetrius!” She pulled away from Robin to greet him, “I heard you wanted to talk to me about something.” 

They sat down and shortly after, dinner was served. It smelled and tasted good, but Hannah was too focussed on Demetrius’ offer to really enjoy it. He wanted to install mushroom-colonies and she was quite intrigued by it. 

It was Maru’s comment who took her back to reality. She didn’t catch all of it, because of her chat with Demetrius, but it was enough. 

“She’s his friend, Maru.” Robin said. 

“How ever she does that.” Her daughter replied.

Sebastian just went on with his dinner. 

Hannah narrowed her eyebrows. Nice. That was the attire when he was sitting on the table and they had a guest? God, how did they speak when they were alone with him? 

The way Sebastian was just sitting there, eating, like it was no big deal getting shit-talked by his own sister at dinner broke her heart.

***

They finished quickly, she helped Robin clean off the table and stayed polite through the whole thing. As she went on her way home she felt anger rising up in her chest.


	13. In which Sebastian becomes Sebby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell what music I listened to when I wrote this? :D  
> Funfact: This cute lil chapter is probably my fav so far.
> 
> Revised: Yes

He lay down on his bed and stared at the ceiling, one hand running through the freshly dyed hair. 

She just had to come in sooner today. It wasn’t enough that he was crushing hard on her, no she had to make it worse. And that talk about crushes and the terrible dinner. 

What a day.

He pulled himself from his bed and walked over to his computer. Maybe he could sneak in a couple quests before hitting the sheets. 

His mom made him help with her work and so he had to stand up early lately. 

A direct message caught his eye. Hannah.

“Hey, everything okay?”

He opened Spotify and replied.

“Yeah. Sorry about the awkward dinner.”

“It’s really not that bad. I just know what you mean now.”

“… my mom loves you.”

“She told me it’s a shame that I’m dating Sam. You wouldn’t know anything about why she thinks that?”

“Oh god she didn’t.”

“Yeah. She did.”

“I had to. You don’t even know what I went through, trying to explain to her that I will not marry you in the foreseeable future.”

“And the unforeseeable? :D”

He sighed. She was joking around. She was his friend. He really had to get this crush to go away before it would ruin this.

“Pretty sure she will still try to get you to love me. Did I ever tell you that she even tried coupling me up with Sam when we first became friends?”

“No way.”

“She did. I swear this woman will be my death one day.”

He looked over to Spotify and noticed that Hannah was listening to Paramore. He scoffed, Sam was right about her taste in music. 

“The Only Exception by Paramore? Is it 2009 yet?”

“Shut up it’s a nice song! :D”

“Emo.”

“And proud! What about now?” 

He glanced over again. 

“Taylor Swift? You are losing all of my respect right now.”

“I got a Taylor Swift song for every occasion.”

“That is so sad.”

“Try me.”

“No thank you.”

“Sam whenever we hang out without him: You belong with me.”

He rolled his eyes and typed the song into his Spotify. After listening to the lyrics, he started laughing. 

It was spot on. He noticed that Hannah was listening to it too. He went back to his messenger.

“Pretty good, gotta admit it.”

“Me: 22.”

He listened, she did too. Again, it fit her personality like a glove. He got back to the other window. 

‘To fall in love with strangers’, that line stuck with him. He was overthinking it.

“Still sad that you listen to that on your free will.”

“You: Mean.”

He chuckled and started the song. 

“Oh, fuck you.”

“It fits so well, it’s creeping me out. :D”

“Right.”

“You moving to the city: Welcome to New York.”

It stung to see her write about that so nonchalantly. He suppressed the thought of the upcoming job offer and started listening to the song instead. 

He liked that one, but he’d die before telling her that.

“Stop it now.”

“:D This conversation: Look what you made me do.”

He liked the aspect of them sitting on their computers, listening to the same songs at the same time. Even if it was Taylor Swift.

“Okay okay you got me. I now believe in the power of the good old T-Swizzl.”

“Perfect timing. I gotta get in bed. Goodnight Sebby! Oh, wait. One more. Dinner at your house today: Shake it off.”

He logged out and listened to the song. He had no problem shaking off Maru’s comments by now. But Hannah? How could he ever shake her out of his head? It felt weird, being this involved with someone he liked more than just as a friend. 

He wandered off to her calling him Sebby and for the first time, he didn’t mind being called by his childhood-nickname.


	14. In which Sam has news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: Yes

He was sitting at Hannah’s kitchen table. 

“You’re quiet.” She said in between two bites. He was indeed. Something else was on his mind.

“Dunno.” He shrugged, automatically pulling her interest. He knew that she would ask what’s going on. It felt good knowing, that she cared. Maybe that’s why he baited her so badly.

“Sam, I know you. C’mon.” She looked worried. “Is it your mom? It is something with her?” 

Her tone made clear that she was already expecting to know the answer. But this time she didn’t. 

“No.” She looked up.

“It’s”, he watched himself pushing around his food with a fork, “my dad.”

He felt her gaze. “Don’t look at me like that.” 

“Is he…?” 

“No.” She exhaled sharply. “Jesus, fuck, you scared me.” 

“He’s coming home.”

Within seconds she was at his side, pulling him in for a hug. “Omg Sam”, her face was lit like a Christmas tree, “that’s amazing! Why are you not happy?” 

Her face fell, “what is going on? Those are great news!” 

He formulated his answer, whilst watching her going through her emotions.

“It’s complicated.”

“Yeah no kidding.”

“It’s uhm”, he hesitated, “it’s just that is has been so long since he was home. I’m scared that he will be… different.”

“Of course he’ll be, but shit Sam, even if he got PTSD and nightmares – he’s your dad and he’ll be home. You got him back!”

“I know that. I do. And I’m thankful, it’s really not something I take for granted believe me. But I read bad things about the people that come back.”

She looked heartbroken. Like she didn’t really know what to say to that. He knew he was putting her in a shitty situation. It was unfair but shit, what else should he do? She was the person he trusted most.

“So, what now?” She asked the question he had been too afraid to ask himself. “I don’t know.” Sam met her eyes, “I really don’t.”

“How did your mom take it?”

“She only told me, not Vincent. Said she was happy, looked like trash. I think she beats herself up, because she should be happy but isn’t.”

“Sounds familiar.” She smiled, “you know you being mad at yourself doesn’t help anybody, right?”

“I know.” Did he? He wasn’t so sure about that anymore.

***

When he left her place, he felt better. Not good, but better. He walked right past his house, made a left and found himself on the beach. 

All the hours he had spend here, thinking about his dad. Hoping for him to come back. And now? Now he sat here in the wet sand, looking at the stars feeling like shit. Because his dad would be home soon.

He saw Elliot walk into his cabin and waved. The tall made smiled polite and went on inside. It was dark and there would be no more people here tonight. 

He was all alone. 

At least he thought so. A moving shadow behind him pulled his attention. A shadow with blond hair.

“Hey Haley.”

“Oh”, she turned around, “right, sorry. Hi. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You aren’t.”

“You look like you want to be left alone. I come here when I”, she didn’t finish her sentence.

“Well then I am the intruder, right? I’ll leave you to it.” He made an effort to stand up, but Haley shook her head. 

“You look sad.” She sat down next to him, which was a surprise. No comment about icky wet sand or how she would ruin her dress. Just a quiet girl, staring at the sky.

“You too.”

“It’s okay. Just one of these days.” Sam had never given Haley much thought. He knew that her parents were dead. But so far, she’d always been the superficial girl who complained about his loud music every now and then. It never even occurred to him that she would come here to be sad.

“Sorry.” She looked at him.

“What for?”

“I never really thought, that you were the kind of person to get sad and come to the beach.”

“You know some people might say the same about you.” She gave him a slight smile.

They didn’t talk too much after that. But they sat at the shore and were sad together.


	15. In which Hannah receives a message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: No

Her day started at 5:30 am every morning. She woke up, hated herself for doing so, got up, made her bed and walked over to the bathroom to wash up and get dressed. 

The face she saw in the mirror looked tired and done for. The day hadn’t even started.

6:00 am, after breakfast she went outside and worked up the first sweat of the day by checking in on her chickens, ducks and rabbits. 

At the moment they all shared a coop, but she worked on that. Next up the cheese and butter machines. They were located at the very far off end of the farm because of all the noise they made.

As she got near them she already tasted the distinguished notes of her own cheese in the air. She only had one goat, but it made for some pretty amazing food.

Goat-butter. Not something she would ever buy in the city.

Anni was the next step on her tour. The goat bloated at her keeper, as Hannah made her way through the barn. She checked in on her water, opened the door and left again.

Goats didn’t need too much attention. That was the major argument against cows at the moment. 

8:00 am. Time for the fieldwork. 

She watered, tore out weeds, made sure no bugs ate all her hard work in the night and by the time it was 10:00 am she started harvesting. 

Tomatoes mostly, but also some blueberries and a bunch of kale. 

Pretty nice for one day. 

The sun was glaring at her neck. Farmer’s tan was something she had gotten used to by now.

She got inside around 12:00 am to eat something for lunch and take a break. 

1:00 pm came by and she was on her way to town to sell her goods, get some supplies and forage whatever she found on her way.

At 2:30 pm she got back to the farm, put away her supplies and went back out to work on the farm some more. Chopping wood mostly. She would need a lot of it for winter.

The sun was setting again by the time her energy ran out. It was late, and she felt more dead than alive. But there was an impressive amount of wood next to her and the fields looked amazing.

Not much longer and she would start growing pumpkins. Maybe then, Abi would finally start talking to her. According to Sam, there was little, the goth-girl loved more.

She opened her door and made her tormented body sit down. Shit that felt good. Her feet were sore and her back ached.

“Nothing like a day of hard work, right Rosi?” The red cat purred and turned herself on the warm floor boards. She had spend the whole day laying in the sun.

She scrounged down, giving the lazy animal a belly rub. Rosi must be one of the friendliest cats on the planet. She was either purring or sleeping or eating. 

What a life that must be.

Hannah yawned and strolled over to her kitchen to go through her cabinets. She sighed. “Right, vegetables it is.”

She usually didn’t mind eating clean, but ever since she got here it had only ever been beans and cauliflower and carrots and salad. Sometimes paired with self-made bread, sometimes with fish. Hannah didn’t like to eat meat or fish too often.

She craved a fatty pizza. Or fries. Anything really, that wasn’t so damn healthy. The oil in her pan sizzled.

Carrots, peppers, corn. As she sat down to eat she reached for her phone. 

Five messages from her sister, seven from Sam and one from Sebastian.

Why did her sister always expect her to answer directly? She was outdoors. No time for texting.

She sighed and replied. Next up was Sam. He wanted to come over with Vincent on the weekend. Hannah smiled. That sounded like a lot of fun. 

Sebastian. Right. He had send one too. Surprisingly, Sebastian loved texting. He wasn’t one to talk with for hours but write him a message and he’ll happily send twenty back.

“Help. I need to get upstairs but there are people there.”

That was half an hour ago. She chuckled.

“Sorry. Been busy today. Did you find a way to sneak upstairs?”

He replied immediately.

“Nope. Still imprisoned in my own bedroom.”

“So sad. Why do you need to go upstairs?”

“I’m out of food.”

“Tragic. The cellar-boy, starving to death rather than facing his family.”

“Laugh all you want, next time you come over my mom will pander you until you flee down here as well.”

“Oh god. I better stay away then.”

She got into her bedroom and undressed herself for a much needed shower. 

“Brb. Gotta shower.”

When she came back to her phone Sam had responded. He and Vincent would be over at Friday around five. She checked her calendar. That was two days away. Enough time to clean up her cottage first.

She noticed another thing coming up. The dance of the moonlight jellies. It sounded nice.

Her phone buzzed. Sebastian.

“I was upstairs. It was traumatic.”

Hannah grinned and let herself fall onto her bed. It felt like heaven.

“Did you get the food at least?”

“Yes. Interaction with Maru was a big price to pay tho.”

“I can only imagine. What did you do today?”

“Sleep. Had a late night.”

She yawned again. Sleep sounded so nice right now.

“I hate u. Was out all day running this damn farm.”

“Hey, you chose this life.”

“I know. Not complaining.”

“You are complaining.”

“Feel bad for me please. I need someone to tell me that I have a right to hate my life.”

“You really don’t. Sorry. :D”

“You’re just jealous that I got my own place.”

“That is correct.”

“I feel like I’m dead already. My body is slowly giving up, I’m telling you!”

“You’re going to bed soon, right?”

“Already in it. Why?”

“It kinda sucks that we never get to chat much.”

“I know. Completely different bio-rhythms.”

He didn’t reply for a little while. Hannah felt her eyelids getting heavier. One last thing she had to do. 

In her mission to get Sebby to listen to something else, other than his usual mix, she had started sending him one song from her happy little pop-playlist every evening.

His hatred for them made her want to send them even more.

“Got a good song for you tonight.”

“Oh god please no.”

“It’s from my girl Taytay.”

“How many Taylor Swift songs are there even? Make it stop!”

“Shut up. Song of the day is: So it goes. Enjoy.”

“You enjoy your bed.”

“Oh, I will. Night Sebby!”

She put the phone away and closed her eyes, finally getting her much-needed sleep.


	16. In which Sebastian is (not) alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: No

See you in the dark  
All eyes on you, my magician  
All eyes on us  
You make everyone disappear

The lyrics roamed around in his head until he fell asleep and again when he woke up.

ʼCause we break down a little  
But when you get me alone, it’s so simple

Who would have guessed a Taylor Swift song could be so relatable to someone who wasn’t a thirteen-year-old white girl? Not Sebastian, that’s for sure.

Met you in a bar  
All eyes on me, your illusionist  
All eyes on us  
I make all your grey days clear

He was overthinking this, right? But the way it fit their situation was weird, right? Right? 

He ignored all the hints towards sexual content in the song. That was not the meaning of her sending it. But then again, what was?

Was she playing with him? Poking fun at him for having a crush? Did she even know?

No. No way she knew. Not even Sam had a clue. Nobody had. If he was completely honest he wasn’t even sure about his own feelings. Hannah wasn’t the kind of girl he ever imagined falling in love with. She was smart and constantly smiling and glaring happiness and sunshine and the smell of apples and full of life.

Not that that was an argument against her. Any of it. 

He just always thought someone like her would fall in love with someone like Sam. They would look good together. She with her rich curves and her heartfelt smile that could melt through ice, him with his big hair and muscles and laughter louder than a freaking thunderstorm.

He was just the weird boy who never left his room.

Sebastian knew, that Hannah didn’t think bad of him. But liking him how he liked her? No, that wasn’t even remotely possible.

The song restarted. He had put it on replay. What was this girl doing to him?

A hand on his shoulder made Sebastian freeze. 

“Jesus Sam, you scared the crap outta me!”

His friend smiled apologetic.

“Sorry.”

They were standing next to each other on one of the piers on the left side of the beach. It wasn’t raining today, but fall was approaching quickly and with the big clouds on the sky and the harsh wind blowing it was quite chilly.

“What are you doing here?”

Sebastian shrugged, “thinking.”

“You only come here when you’re sad. Do I need to be worried?”

“Nah. Just here to look at the water and listen to some music.”

That was a mistake. Sam reached for the phone in the pocket of Sebastian’s hoodie and ignored the protest of him, as he opened the music-app. 

“Oh my god.”

“Give that back, thank you very much for ignoring any private sphere of mine.”

Sam had a dirty grin on his face.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“That was Taylor Swift.”

“So?”

“You never listen to Taylor Swift.”

“So?” Sebastian was starting to sweat.

“I only know one person in this town, who listens to that kinda music.”

Sam’s eyebrows were dancing on his face. Sebastian was silent. They just stood there for a moment. 

“You got a crush on Hannah.” Sam’s grin got wider by the second.

“Nope.”

“Oh, but you do.”

“You are very wrong. I just happen to enjoy Taylor Swift.”

“Don’t lie to me you hate that kind of music. That was”, he licked his lower lip, “until someone moved here, who liked it. And you like that person.”

“She’s a hard-working artist. I admire that.”

“You sure do.”

“And… and… and by the way”, he hated himself for stuttering, “I happen to like Hannah very much. As a friend.”

“Hmhm.”

“Wipe that smug grin of your face.”

“Whatever you say, man.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m not saying anything.”

“You…”, Sebastian sighed. “Oh, fucking hell.”

“You should, you know, ask her out or something.”

He felt the blood rush to his face. “No way.” Sam seemed surprised. His friend turned towards him with a puzzled look on his face.

“Why not? Oh my god, your mom would freak out. You know she asked me if I am really dating Hannah? You told her that, right?”

“I had to, she kept bugging me about her. Just like you are doing right now.”

“Yeah because you two would… why don’t you want to ask her out?”

“Because she’d say no.”

“Oh, bullshit.”

He stopped their repartee to look back on the water. Sam inhaled deeply.

“I’m serious about this. You should ask her out. But if you don’t want to then fine. Small town relationships can be shitty, I get that. You have a friendship you don’t want to ruin, I get that too. But Seb”, Sebastian didn’t look up, “you should still do it. I you decide to, let me know. I’m a romance ninja, you know that.”

He managed to shoot a wry smile towards his friend. 

“Anyways, it’s almost 5 pm. You coming to the bar to meet the others?”

Sebastian nodded. He was tired and felt lowkey humiliated by Sam figuring out his secret, but he still wanted to go. He’d see Hannah there, though he was unsure if that was a good thing or not.

***

As they opened the door, they were greeted by Emily, who was interrupting her chat with Elliot to get them their drinks. His gaze went over the bar and stopped in the dark corner next to it. 

Where was Shane?

In all the months Shane had been living here, it was about a year now, Sebastian mused, he’d been to this bar every day. Always sitting in this corner. 

He couldn’t fight the worry, bubbling up in his stomach. But then he glanced over to the game-room and froze. 

Shane was sitting on the couch, next to Abigail and Penny, nursing a beer, talking to them. Actually chatting, like normal people did. Hannah was at the pool table, leaning onto it with a wine glass in her right hand, balancing it nonchalantly like she always did.

“Is that Shane?” Sam rubbed his eyes at the sight of their friends hanging out with him.

“Yeah and Penny is here too. Weird, don’t you think?”

“I mean, Abi probably brought her in. But yeah, you’re right. She’s usually at home this time a day, avoiding people.”

“And her mother.”

“Yeah that too.”

“Should we… I don’t know… join them?”

“I guess.”

They both looked flabbergasted towards the game-room. 

“Let’s do it.” Sam made his way towards the little group in the other room. Sebastian followed slowly. Still processing what he saw.”

“Oh Hey!” Abi smiled widely at the approaching two men. Penny smiled politely. “We were just talking about you, Sam. Well about the band actually, but since you’re the loud one… Seb, you remember what we talked about last practice? The sound-proof room? Shane might have something for us.”

Sam dove head first into the conversation. He sat himself down next to Shane and asked a million questions, not even thinking twice about the weird situation again.

Sebastian wished he’d be able to do the same. But instead, he joined Hannah at the table, shooting her a side look.

“What is happening?”

She grinned. “Well, I invited Shane over to hang with us. Abi brought in Penny”, she lowered her voice, “apparently their date went really well and, that’s already it.”

“You just invited Shane over and he came?”

“Yeah”, she shrugged, “we’ve been talking a lot lately and he’s way better. He’s even seeing someone to deal with the depression. And Jas is an amazing girl, that’s doing a lot too.”

“It was you.” He bit his tongue.

“Huh?” Hannah looked at him. “What do you mean?”

Fuck it. “It’s not him miraculously getting better. That was your doing.” A nice, normal compliment. Friendly. Like friends did usually give them. Nothing more.

She looked way too touched by that though.

“That’s very sweet of you, but I really didn’t do anything.”

“You talked to him.” Sebastian felt his tongue doing the weird talking-without-thinking-thing again. “You gave him a chance. That’s more than any of us did. So you did a lot.”

Was she blushing? 

“Thanks.” She looked away and took a sip out of her glass.

He exhaled air, thinking their talk was over. But his mouth wasn’t finished yet. “You do that a lot, you know? Helping people without noticing it. You did it to Sam, Vincent, Shane, hell, even Abi in a weird way.”

“What?”

“You coming here made her grumpy as hell.” She looked at her shoes. Sebastian continued quickly, “but also, it made her realize that she should get a grip and start approaching Penny.” 

Because, he added in his thoughts, she noticed way before Sam, actually even before he himself did, that she and Sebastian would never date. She knew the second Hannah had walked into the bar for the first time that Seb was lost.

This realization hit him hard.

That explained so much.

“You really think so?” Hannah’s big, blue eyes were gazing into the air. Not looking at anything specific. They looked glassy.

“Of course. You even”, he bit his lip, “helped me. Like, a lot.”

She snorted, “yeah right. That’s your mother talking.”

“No, it’s true.” Grinning whilst saying it made it less painful, so he did that.

“I don’t want to help you”, she looked at him with her big, big eyes, “because I don’t think you needed help in the first place.”

“I know”, he held his hands up in defence, “but you telling me that, made me realize that you are right. You didn’t help me getting more into social stuff but accepting that I don’t have to be an asshole to my family to prove them that they are right.”

She smiled. “Okay, I can live with that.”

Sam came over and leaned next to Sebastian on the table. He was sweating a little. The tavern was warm. “So, Hannah.” She perked up, looking over to Sam, “yeah?”

“Our little emo boy here”, he nodded towards Sebastian, “started listening to your all-time favourite former-country-now-pop singer.”

Her eyes lit up, “no way!”

“It’s the truth, right Sebby?”

Sebastian ignored them.

“Aw, that’s kinda awesome!” She fluffed his side, giving him just the slightest nudge with the back of her hand.

“I’m gonna go get a refill.” And off she went.

“You asking her?” Sam gave him a knowing smile. “Abi said you should do it, too.”

His cheeks got hot. “For Christ’s sake, will you stop telling everybody about that?”

“She knew already. You should have seen Shane’s face.”

Oh god. “Please tell me they are not dating. I don’t hate him or anything, but that would really fuck me up right now.” He felt his stomach drop.

“No, they are not. But your reaction is telling me everything right now.”

“Shut up”, he whispered harshly, just as Hannah re-joined them. Sam was grinning his cheeky grin again.

“Oh, I need a refill too. Be right back you guys.” He winked at Sebastian, mouthing the words ‘ask her’ behind Hannahs back, as he made his way up to the bar.

“You okay?” 

Her question ripped him back to reality. “Uh, yeah. He’s just being stupid again.” Thankfully, she took that answer without further questions.

***

The evening ended not too long after that. As they said their goodbyes, he overheard Sam and Hannah talking about their plans tomorrow. He and Vincent wanted to come over. A normal thing.

Apparently, everybody was constantly hanging out with Hannah. Only he didn’t.

That’s because you value alone time and she knows that. 

He knew the voice in his head was right. But it was screaming against at least a dozen voices telling him that she hated hanging out with him.

As he finally went on to walk home, he saw Alex making his was towards the house of his gradparents.

I’m so chill, but you make me jealous

The song didn’t vanish again until he finally got into his bed.


	17. In which Sam feels left out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: No

His mother had been really weird for the past days. It was either all sunshine or all tears and Sam didn’t like either option.

Hannah helped. Abi did too. Even Sebastian tried but failed miserably when he was left alone with Vincent for longer than half an hour and ended up introducing the 6-year-old boy to hard-core metal music.

It wasn’t easy, but it worked. Somehow. But in between all the hanging out, helping, work, mother-sitting and Sebastian’s and Abi’s love-problems – Sam couldn’t help but feel lonely. Not alone. But lonely.

It was Sunday, the last day of summer and the dance of the moonlight jellies. As Sam woke up that particular Sunday morning, he felt the loneliness more than usual, which was weird for a number of reasons.

For starters, he woke up on the floor, cuddled up into more blankets than any sane human being should own, with his little brother on his side and one of his best friends smiling at him from the kitchen counter.

“Coffee?” Hannah grinned at his bed-head.

“Ugh.”

“Articulate as always.”

“Howlateisit?”

“7 am.”

“Why am I awake?” He felt like his head had been crushed between two very large rocks. Had he been drinking yesterday? No, they had a nice little sleep-over and went to bed early. “Why do I feel like shit?”

Hannah grinned even wider. “Well”, she started, “you were really tired yesterday.”

Oh no.

“And your brother here”, her gaze lowered to Vincent, who was all curled up and cute, “thought it would be funny to”, she smacked her lips, “decorate you.”

Oh hell no.

Sam sat up, head still spinning, trying to ignore the smug grin on Hannah’s face, as he made his way to the bathroom. The second he got a glimpse at his face in the mirror he understood his situation a lot more.

“Did you show him the Joker or did he pick that up someplace else?” He yelled.

“I guess he saw case of The Dark Knight laying around somewhere.”

“Okay. Fine. You’ve had your fun. Why is my head hurting so bad?”

“We dropped you.”

“What!?” He came back to the main room, squinting at his friend.

“Long story.” She threw a towel in his direction. “Take a shower. You look ridiculous.”

He scrounged the towel in his hands and muttered “I wonder who’s fault that is.” But then he took off in the direction of the shower.

The hot water felt amazing on his skin. He tried washing away the narrow feeling in his chest, but unlike the makeup and his headache, it stayed. It felt weird being in a loving environment and still feeling left out.

Left out from what exactly?

Feelings? Maybe that? He could only assume what went on in his own mind. But yeah, feelings made sense. Sure, over the last months he had been the centre of attention every now and then. But never for long. It was always ‘I’m so sorry, Sam!’ and then the next second everybody was back focusing on his mom or his brother or, in case of Sebastian and Abigail, on themselves.

He felt like an asshole thinking about it that way. But wasn’t it the truth? Why did they always get all the attention? Not to mention, that they had someone. Sebastian had – even though he denied any of it – Hannah and Abi had Penny. He, well he had Hannah, too. But not like that. Not in a romantic way. 

Maybe that was, what he was missing? Someone to love or at least imagine loving without ever actually doing anything about it? Great. Now he was thinking about Sebastian again and how he could help him, which was so contra productive. 

No, he wasn’t missing love. He didn’t need that. Sure, it would be nice, but there were only so many people living in this town and none of them was right for him. And besides that, Sam didn’t believe that a relationship was the key to all happiness. The solution to the problems of life.

But how could he get out of this mess? He felt like shit, but he could never stop caring about his friends, even if it meant he felt like this.

Life felt like a really weird joke right now.

A knock on the door made him realize, that he’d been under the shower for quite some time now. He heard Hannah linger behind the door, she seemed distressed. “Sam? Your brother is awake, and you’ve been showering for almost half an hour now.”

“Coming”, he screamed through the door.

“Please don’t.” She was chuckling.

He rolled his eyes and stepped out of the glass-cabin to wrap a towel around his waist. “Please stop doing sex jokes when my brother is around.”

“It wasn’t a sex joke until you made it one.”

He opened the door and was happy to surprise her with that. With a smirk he looked down on her, “Romeo, that really isn’t how you treat a lady now, is it?” She grinned and stepped back to let him out.

“Are we going to to the dance of the moonlight jellies tonight?” Vincent’s gigantic eyes always looked, like he was just about to cry. Even if he was excited or happy. Sam nodded and looked over to Hannah, “you coming too?”

“Sure thing”, she was squatting down to pet her cat, “wouldn’t miss that kind of event. Is the rest coming as well?”

Sam sighed, “yeah I guess. Seb loves it. It’s the only thing about this town he really enjoys.” Back to the usual, helping everyone with their love-problems. 

“Huh, wouldn’t have guessed that he’s able to like something.” She was still busy spoiling her cat with belly rubs. 

Sam muttered under his breath “you got no idea” and went on to the kitchen. 

“What did you say?”

“You want breakfast?”

***

When nightfall came to town, he got himself ready for the festival. Vincent had been sleeping most of the day away, scared to miss all of the action later. Hannah had to work, Sebastian wanted to be left alone and Abi was with Penny. He was alone again.

Weird, how everybody cared about him when they needed his support, but when shit got real he was left behind.

No. 

He shook his head, watching himself in the mirror. ‘Stop thinking like this’ he thought. If only it would be that easy. Just stop thinking about it and everything would be fine. But his brain didn’t care.

He thought about his father. Once he was home, everything would shift again. Maybe his friends would care more about him then? No but they did care, all Hannah did was care. Unless she didn’t. And what if she and Seb would become an item? He felt a headache forming. All these doubts were getting to him.

He was torn between feeling like a shitty friend for wanting more attention, hating himself for not recognizing all the attention he got and asking himself why everybody only ever seemed to care for a couple of minutes, before returning to their own lives.

It wasn’t a long walk to the beach. His mother was already asleep, when they took off. Vincent was blabbering about the jellies and Sam took that as an excuse to let his mind wander. It was a beautiful, clear night, but pretty cold for the time of year. Fall had come early. 

His little brother ran off the second they entered the beach to find his friend Jas and Sam was alone yet again. He looked over the well-lit beach in front of him and saw that most of the town was there. Even Linus was here, talking to Gus and Emily. Good for him, Sam thought.

He spotted Sebastian and Hannah, both sitting at the pier alone, looking at the water. Sam wondered what they were talking about, but he didn’t want to disturb. Being alone with Hannah meant a lot to Sebastian, he knew that. Better to be alone than a third wheel anyways. 

Abi’s laughter was uncanny. She didn’t laugh often, but when she did, everybody in a 500-meter radius heard her. She was with Penny and Haley, sitting next to the fire, chatting away. 

The jellies would be here in a couple of minutes. Sam made his way to one of the docks, alone. He saw Elliot standing by himself as well and felt a little better about it. Even though the writer probably wanted to be alone. 

His legs dangled below him. It was dark and silent. Only the sound of the waves and water gurgling around the wooden pillars showed him, that time was running.

The first glow of the jellies appeared in front of him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and before he could turn around, Sebastian was sitting next to him. Hannah sat herself down on the other side, followed by Abigail, Penny, Shane, Emily and Haley. The latter few were quietly talking to each other, but Sebastian, Sam and Hannah were silent.

They were just looking at the jellies, enjoying this wonder of nature. They were there for him. Both of them. And Abi and the rest too of course. No matter what would happen between them or with Sam’s dad or Sebastian and his dream to go to the city, in the end it would always be like this. Sam was sitting in between his two best friends and suddenly, he stopped feeling lonely.


	18. In which Hannah gets ready for fall

She was drowning in work. After Sunday the sun had seemed to give up on spending warmth and it had been raining a lot. There was still a lot she could plant and harvest, but all the sensitive plants needed to be transplanted either to the greenhouse or the compost. 

It was cold but dry when she stepped out of the house this morning. Hannah was still sweating through her thick clothing by the middle of the day. She went on inside to get something to eat, before heading out yet again. This time to town. It was Wednesday so Pierre’s was closed, but Evelyn had promised her some seeds and she needed to deliver something to Harvey. 

After running her errands, she returned to the farm, spotting a tall, dark haired man sitting on her porch.

“Hi there.” She smiled, wondering why Sebastian was sitting here.

“There you are. I was waiting for you”, he stood up and watched her come closer. “You’ve been to town?”

She nodded and walked right past him, “jup. Had some shit to do. You wanna come in? Looks like rain.”

Sebastian looked up and quickly followed her inside. She dropped her keys and turned around, walking backwards to her kitchen, “what are you doing here?”

He scratched the back of his head and looked around. She frowned. “Sebby? Everything okay?”

“Yeah”, he nodded eagerly, “everything’s fine. I know you got a lot of work to do and wanted to ask if you need any help.”

Oh really?

“That’s awfully nice of you. Are you bored or something?” She laughed. Helping out was not something Sebastian was well known for.

“Something like that. I kinda wanted to get out of the house”, he saw Hannah’s smirk about that statement and chose to ignore it, “and I also wanted to help you. You know. Fall can be hard-core for farmers.”

“It’s pretty hefty, gotta admit that.” She was leaning on a countertop, giving her friend a mocking look. He seemed uncomfortable, so she decided to give him a break and pushed herself forward. 

“C’mon you can help me outside. I still need to clean up some wood and cut grass for the animals.”

Sebastian knew his way around trees and woodwork. His mother had probably made sure of that. It was weird seeing this scrawny guy putting down a tree with such ease. It wasn’t strength that made this fascinating, he probably couldn’t even lift the big axe. It was pure skill. Give this man a small axe and twenty minutes time and he could make any tree fall.

After the land around the lake was more or less clear, Hannah set down her sickle and yelled over to Sebastian that they were finished for the day. He was standing on the other side of the freshly cleared field and looked like he could use a break. 

It was nearly dark when they got back to the house. Sebastian took off his shoes with a groan and let himself fall down on the couch. “You hungry?” She already dialled the number of the only Pizza-delivery nearby. 

She plunged on the couch next to him and shrieked at the music all of a sudden blasting through the small living room. 

“Suite for Violoncello, Solo No. 1 in G Major. Bach. Classy.”

“Oh, so you know your way around classical music now?” Hannah got the remote-control from between the pillows and started smashing buttons.

“I’m a deep guy.”

She managed to turn down the volume and looked at him. He was indeed. But she doubted that he actually believed that himself.

“Pizza’s gonna be here soon. You wanna watch something?”

“Uhm, actually”, he hesitated, “can we talk?”

That was new. “Sure, what’s up?” She leaned back and looked at him, ready to listen. He was being weird today. First the help-offering and now this. Something must’ve happened.

“I don’t usually do this, you know. Talk about stuff with others. Not even with Sam.”

She nodded and made sure to signal that she was listening. Something did happen and he needed to get it out. She had to be careful not to scare him away. Sebastian was a nice guy, sarcastic and witty and smart as fuck. But feelings weren’t his strong suit and so was talking about them.

“Hannah, I think Maru is taking drugs.”

Welp, that came unexpected. She tried keeping a straight face, but it was hard. Nurse Maru with her geeky Dr Who collection and stuffed animals still on her bed – a drug addict? She decided to voice her doubts.

“Sebby, are you sure about that? She does not seem like the type.”

“I know right?” He swept his fringe away with a swift motion of his head. “But I saw her, at least I think I did. She must’ve stolen the pills from Harvey or something. And Hannah, it explains so much! She never sleeps, always working at the clinic or at home, never tired or in a bad mood. I considered the fact that she’s a robot once, but the pills make more sense.”

“I see”, she thought about that. He wasn’t incorrect. Maru did have a lot on her plate. But she was also the perfect daughter and Sebastian the forgotten son. What if he imagined that to make her less perfect in his head. To feel better about his whole situation in life?

She couldn’t tell him that though, he’d never forgive her. So she tried a different approach.

“You got no proof, right? What are you going to do about this?”

“I don’t know, but I gotta do something, right? I mean, she’s my sister.”

That was odd. “You never considered her your sister till now.” She raised an eyebrow. Maybe he really did see something?

“Oh, bullshit. I say that because I’m pissed at my family. But if she needs help, I have to do something!” He looked at her with a desperation in his eyes, that made Hannah believe every word he said. That wasn’t the look of someone who wanted to blame her or embarrass her or lessen her name. He genuinely wanted to help.

“Okay Sebby. I believe you.”

He seemed more than relieved. Not like he’d just wanted someone to believe him. Like he’d been deadly afraid of telling someone he cared about, because he feared not to be taken for real. This boy had serious trust-issues.

“We’ll figure something out, I promise. You got a look at what she might be taking?”

A guilt-ridden look got on his face, “I might have searched her room.” He looked away, “looks like some kind of ADHD-medication. I googled and apparently they have a pushing effect rather than a slowing one, if you don’t got ADHD.”

“Probably Ritalin or Focalin then, other shit is really hard to get your hands on.” She noticed his look, “My little brother had to take them when he was younger. I know someone who got hooked on them, too. Good news is, they hardly make you addicted. You don’t take them because you need them, you keep taking them because they give you an edge. Like you said, endless energy.” 

She kept tapping her lower lip like she always did when she was thinking. Someone rang the doorbell. 

“Pizza’s here. One second.” She got the money from her purse and opened the door to exchange it for two Pizzas, which she set down on the couch-table shortly after.

“We could talk to Harvey.” Sebastian was taking a bite and looked at her with wide eyes.

“We?”

“Yeah, no way I’ll let you do this by your own.”

“Why?”

“Well you got terrible people-skills for starters”, she grinned and grabbed her own Pizza, “but I also care about you and can see how much this upsets you. You need help and I’m here.”

“Hannah, why do you help others all the time?” He put away his food and looked at her with a puzzled look in his eyes.

That was a weird question. Unusually blunt for Sebastian.

“I don’t know how to answer that.” She was honest. But a weird feeling crawled up her chest.

“Let me specify”, he sat up straight, “you came into this town and turned a depressed Alcoholic into a friendly nice man, you finally got the major and Marnie to admit their feelings for each other, you helped Pierre keep his shop open, work on fixing the community-centre, you’re basically Sam’s therapist and you make me”, he stopped, fighting a blush, “well you help me with this.”

Weird. Him, telling her this, blushing. Usually Hannah would’ve tried getting behind this, but this time she felt redness on her own cheeks. “I… I don’t know. I…” she looked away. 

“You are the shoulder for everyone here. You’re always there, always nice and helpful, like you were send here to safe us all.”

Now it was more than just a simple blush. Her head felt like a tomato. “Okay, as much as I enjoy this praise, you are overestimating me.”

“No. I’m not.” When she looked up she saw his eyes looking at her with a deep determination. “You see, the whole thing with Sam got me thinking. You are just like him, he told me that the night you first met and at first, I didn’t believe it but now I see it.” 

He leaned back, and Hannah noticed for a split-second that he looked really handsome in this light. She forced herself back to reality. 

“You seem so happy on the outside, always helping and being nice. But on the inside, you’re lacking something.”

She held her breath. What he said felt real. Too real. An alarm bell started in the back of her head. Her eyes got wide, and she felt all the blood from previous blushing rush from her head to her extremities. 

Her body wanted to run. She felt dizzy. Sebastian was still looking at her.

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

She inspected her floor. Her walls. The ceiling. Everything but his face. He was right. But she couldn’t tell him. There was no way she’d ever tell someone. Not even him. 

“You don’t have to tell me. I just want you to know that it’s alright.”

She pulled herself up. “You need to leave.” Without giving him another look she walked into the bedroom and closed the door.

When she heard the front door close she leaned on her bedroom door and took a deep breath. This shit was not happening. None of it. It was all a bad fucking dream and she’d wake up tomorrow and everything would be normal again.

Why did it have to be Sebastian to ask these questions?

It was easy lying to Shane or Sam. But Sebastian? No. She’d never lie to someone like him. Someone she- Hannah stopped her own thoughts and sighed. It was time she got into bed and ended this awful day.


	19. In which Sebastian puts his cards on the table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: No

He was trying hard to act like everything was normal. But it wasn’t, and Sebastian knew that Sam would eventually pick up on that. The first unnormal thing was, that Hannah was missing. Not actually missing, but she had excused herself from game-night.

Sam was quiet, but he observed every move Sebastian made.

“You’re playing like shit tonight.”

“Shut up.”

“I mean you’re usually shit. But wow. Today you’re really, really crappy.”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because there’s only us two playing.”

Sam rose his eyebrows. “Oh, so we’re talking about that now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m just saying.” Sam gave him a knowing look, “We’ve been avoiding this topic so far.”

“It’s weird she’s missing, but she’s just sick. Not much to talk about.” Except maybe the fact that she had been ignoring him ever since she threw him out earlier this week. And the fact that he felt like literal shit because of it. And that he still didn’t understand why. 

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.” Sebastian lay down two cards, effectively killing of Sam’s troll-army. He was hoping, that that would be the end of their conversation.

***

Sam left shortly after. Sebastian went out to smoke, then decided to do some work. He ended up staring at the screen for almost on hour. Work. Right. The only thing that made him enjoy his life here, apart from Sam. He thought about the job. 

Haft his life he had dreamed of going to the city. Moving there had been his number one goal. 

Had been?

He realized something, sitting in the dark. That dream was in the past. He didn’t want this anymore. He wanted to stay here. His screen went dark.

“Shit.”

A small light lit up on the other corner of his room. This was accompanied by a buzzing tone. His phone. Sebastian scooted over.

Hannah.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Hi, are you okay?”

How should he respond? She basically threw him out on Wednesday, after he had tried talking to her. She clearly had her own issues. And he had pressed her too hard about them. Or did he? He didn’t remember pressuring her into telling him anything. It was a normal talk, he told her about Maru and then she-

Maru. No. He could not think about that problem now. 

“I’m fine. How about you?”

She was typing for a long time. Sebastian stared at the phone in his hands, waiting for a response. 

“I’m good. Listen, I’m really sorry about Wednesday.”

He sat down on his bed, reaching for the light switch. He didn’t put the light on, though. His finger rested on the switch for a couple of seconds, then he pulled away. Instead he lay down on his bed. Hannah had send more messages.

“It was a weird night for me. I’m so sorry, Seb. I know it looks weird, what I did, but when you said all that stuff about me I just shut down.”  
“You’re not answering me and that’s fine. I just wanted to apologize.”  
“You know what? No. It’s not fine. Answer me damnit! I need to know that you’re no longer mad at me.”

Sebastian bit his lower lip.

“I get it and I’m not mad. I never was. I just… I’m just worried. I feel like I can tell you anything and you throw me out when we talk about you for 30 seconds.”

Bold move. But he wanted to be honest with her. She deserved that.

“You were spot on about me and that scared me. I’m not good at opening up to people.”

Same. He knew how she felt.

“You’re the shoulder.”

“What?”

“You’re the shoulder people lean on. Not the leaner.”

“I just don’t want to be a liability to anyone.”

That hurt. Because he felt the same. But he didn’t act like her. He did eventually open up to people, even if it took him forever. He was an asshole until someone came through. She hid everything behind a nice facade. She was a better version of him. 

“I know. But it’s okay to need someone from time to time. You can’t always be the person everybody goes to when they have a problem. Sam was that until he met you and look how he turned out.”

“I know all of that in theory. But when it comes to actually talking to people I just block everything out. I feel like I’d drag people down with that. Like I said. Don’t want to be a liability.”

“You could never be a liability to me.”

He didn’t know why he wrote that, but it was the truth.

“Are you sure. You don’t know what you’re dealing with here. I also feel like you hate everyone. :D”

“I am, and I do. But I don’t hate you.”

“Aw. Such a sweet poem.”

“I am a man of many talents. :D No, really. You can talk to me anytime.”

“And you’re really sure about that?”

“I am.”


	20. In which Sam is there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: No

He woke up to the gigantic eyes of his brother, shimmering in the moonlight.

“Sam?”

He turned around. It was dark in the room, but the little moonlight that came in through the window reflected in his brother’s eyes. Sam groaned and rubbed his face.

“What’s up, buddy?”

“Can you help mom?”

He was up within seconds. Sam pulled a shirt over his head and practically ran out his door, telling his brother to stay in his room. Where was she? What happened? He peaked in the kitchen, it was empty. Was she in her room? What did Vincent see?

He found his mother sitting on the floor in the bathroom. She was crying. Sam was not even sure she was aware of him standing in the door.

“Mom?” He came closer, being fully aware that he had to be careful with her now. “Come on, we’ll get you in bed, okay?” 

He took her arm, slowly pulling her up and letting her lean on him. She was heavy, meaning that she was pretty out. She didn’t even care, if she’d just dropped to the ground. She didn’t really care about much these days.

Sam walked her into her bedroom, laying her down on the bed. As he pulled the blanket over bis mother, he noticed Vincent behind him.

“Is she okay?”

He cursed on the inside. His brother wasn’t supposed to see shit like this.

“She'll be fine.”

“I just needed to pee. I’m sorry.”

Sam took a deep breath. Vincent just apologized for finding his own mother crying in the bathroom at three in the morning. This had to stop.

“Don’t apologize”, he said, “it’s good that you found her. Go pee, I’ll handle this.”

“Does this mean we’re staying with Hannah tonight?”

Sam scratched the back of his head and looked down at his mother who looked like she finally passed out. “Yeah.”

He called Dr. Harvey, packed a bag and waited for Harvey to show up until he took off with his brother. Hannah was already waiting at her porch. She looked tired, but the second Vincent saw her, her face lit up.

“Hey Vincent! Come on in, both of you.”

His brother took her hand, “can I pet your cat?”

“She’s sleeping. But I bet that she wants to cuddle with you as soon as she notices you’re here.”

She looked at Sam for a second, before walking inside with his brother. He stayed outside for a little longer and looked at the peaceful land around him. It had been unusually warm today and the sky was clear. Making it possible to look up to what seemed to be endless amounts of stars. A slight breeze made the trees swoosh. Water gurgled in the background.

Everything seemed so easy when he was here. He could forget about the mental problems of his mom, his own worries, the things Vincent had to live through – he could forget how crappy everything seemed to be sometimes. 

“Tea?” Hannah was standing behind him with a slight smile and two cups in her hands.

“Thanks.” He took one of the cups and continued to stare in the night.

“You wanna talk about it?”

He shook his head and Hannah accepted it. Another easy thing. She never judged or pressed for him to talk to her.

“Where’s Vincent?”

“In my bed with my cat, suffocating her.”

He managed to give her a grin. “That poor cat.”

“Ah, she’ll live.” Hannah shrugged and smiled again.

They stood outside in silence for some more time. He felt like he had to talk when he noticed that she was secretly yawning.

“You should get some sleep. I can help you with the farm-work tomorrow.”

“It’s no bother, really.”

“I mean it. It’s the least I can do. Also… I feel like some real work might take my mind off my mom.”

“Okay. But only of you go to bed now, too. You need sleep, Sam.”

He sighed. She was right, but he already knew that he wouldn’t be able to close his eyes. 

“Come on”, she took his arm, “let’s go inside.”


	21. In which Hannah needs a time out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised: No
> 
> (Last short one for now, sorry about that. Longer ones are coming up!)

She felt terrible, but she needed a break. From all of it. Sam and her had been working on the farm for the last couple of days and having him around really made farm-life easier – but the caring for Vincent, looking out for Sam and working a the farm took a toll on her.

She was exhausted.

Jody was back in the clinic and the whole town was blabbing about it. Sam was done for. He rarely talked and kept himself busy with chopping wood or cleaning up rocks from her land. Not that she wasn’t thankful for his help, but he helped for the wrong reasons. It looked like he was punishing himself. 

When Sam and Vincent were asleep she got up from bed and snuck out. Ridiculous. She didn’t sneak. It was her house. But it still felt like it. They depended so much on her, it broke her heart to let them down. 

But damn she needed a time out. 

Once her porch-light went out, the only source of light was her phone. She chuckled. Of course Sebastian was still awake. No matter what time it was, if the sun wasn’t up, he was. 

“You sound tired.”

She nodded at his text, realizing that he couldn’t see her. Damn she really was through.

“Both physically and socially. I mean damn, I get that Sam needs this. But it’s almost been a week and I need my alone-time.”

“Good to know, I was close to inviting you over to talk.”

“I’m on my way.”

“Really? What about alone-time?”

“You don’t count as people.”

She started walking, not looking at her phone again until she reached the house right between the mountains and the north-lake. Hannah could already see smoke rising from afar. 

“Hey there Night-lake-smoker-man.”

“That’s the shittiest one yet.”

She grinned against her will, “yet so true.”

He nodded and offered her his pack of cigarettes. She declined by showing her own. 

“So weird if you think about it.”

She looked at him with confusion in her eyes. “What?”

“It’s been half a year since we started up just like this. Smoking outside at night.” He shuddered. “And it was freezing then, too.”

“Hm”, she closed her eyes as she exhaled, “true. It is kinda weird. How much can change in that small amount of time.”

“Yeah. I went from lowkey despising you to lowkey liking you.”

Hannah rolled her eyes. “You are so edgy, you make me feel like I’m in a shitty Facebook-post from 2008.”

“I take that as a compliment.”

“I know.” She chuckled.

“Can I ask you something?” He had the same tone of voice that he had, back when they were sitting in her living room. It felt like ages ago. Hannah noticed that this was the first time they had actually met, since she threw him out. Another weird thing to think about.

“Yeah”, she tried making her voice sound light. She would not freak out at him again. Hopefully.

“Why don’t I count as people?”

She thought about this question for a couple of seconds too long. He got nervous and started talking before she got a chance to answer.

“I mean”, he twisted his lighter in his hands, “I don’t want to press you again. But you kicking me out of your house after I asked a question made me feel like I might count as the kind of people you don’t want to see, when you want to be alone.”

“I know”, she shrugged, oblivious on what else to do with this. “I panicked that night. Sorry again. But what I mean when I say this is, that I feel comfortable around you. Even when I’m tired of people. Does that make sense?”

“No.” He grinned, “to normal people is most likely doesn’t. But I get it.” He took a deep breath, “I feel anxious around most people. Not around you though.” He looked everywhere but in her direction. “And Sam of course, too.”

Was he blushing? She smiled mildly and gave him a chance to fight the blush by looking at the lake for a long minute. If her head hadn’t been so full with everything that had been going on lately, maybe she would have given that more thought. But right now, she was lacking the energy to interpret their talk. 

“So, what are you going to do now? With Sam and everything, I mean.”

She shook her head. “No idea. Jody’s coming home soon. He’s going to have to help her.”

“I guess that means a lot of long nights for you.”

“Yeah. But that’s better than them living at my place. Don’t get me wrong, I love both of them, but damn it’s hard to care for them. Especially Sam. He’s so destructive right now and I can’t stop him.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s the first time he has someone to lean on to like that.”

“I know, which is why I can’t tell him that he’s crushing me.”

She felt Sebastian shuffle near her, stiffly putting an arm around her. “It’s gonna be alright. Everything will figure itself out, I promise.” Hannah eased into his arm, knowing that this was nothing, Sebastian did lightly. She was thankful for him being here.

“Sebby?” He hummed as a response. “Thank you.”


	22. In which Sebastian faces a decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. But with all that is happening right now, I haven't felt in the mood for writing. A lot of shitty politics can really ruin one's creativity.
> 
> Triggers: None  
> Revised: No

He was staring at his phone like he waited for it to explode. The screen went dark and waited for him to press the on-button. Sebastian sighed and looked around. The saloon was packed, even for a Friday. Abigail was ignoring him, as usual, Sam talked to Emily at the bar and the rest of the village produced a nice, steady background noise with their chatter. 

“Hey, you trying to win a staring contest with your phone?” Sam grinned and slammed his body on the couch next to him.

“I might.” Sebastian quickly shut of his phone and tried to flash a smile. It didn’t work. 

“Okay, what’s up with you?” His best friend leaned over and clicked his tongue. “C’mon, tell me. You look like hell.”

Sebastian’s mouth dropped open. “Shut up, I look awesome!” He petted his neatly straightened hair and muttered under his breath “you look like hell.”

“Don’t mutter at me young man.”

“I’m older than you.” They exchanged a long look before bursting out into laughter. 

“Okay, Seb I’m serious. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”

“Yeah. Shut up. Don’t go all emotional at me.”

“I’m not the certified Emo in the room but okay.” Sam shrugged and backed off a little. He was still looking suspicious, but Sebastian felt safe to take out his phone again.

 

Dear Mr. Heller,

I’m very happy to tell you, that we have an open position, starting in January. The office will provide a suitable apartment for you, if you take the job. We’ll need an answer by this time next week.

I’m looking forward to working with you,

Allan Herker

Co-CEO of Freefalltech

89473 Zuzu City

 

He got the damn job. He got what he wished for. And here he sat. Hating it. 

It’s not that he wasn’t happy. No, he felt amazing, knowing that he was good enough to score a job like that. But now that he got it, he had to decide what to do. Was he going to pursue the dream he worked on for the last years or… well or not?

The phone in his hand started vibrating. He felt betrayed by the technology, when he saw the name on the screen pop up. It was his contact in the city. Lucy Wibbers. She was the most talented programmer he’d ever met. She was badass and the one internet-person he knew he actually considered a friend. 

“Hey”, he looked nervously over to Sam, but his blonde friend was on his own phone and didn’t even seem to notice Sebastian talking to his phone. “Hey there city-boy.” Lucy’s voice was terribly high and squeaky, but she still somehow managed to sound frightening. “How are you this fine evening? Something happening? Something you might wanna talk about?” He could hear the grin in her voice. Of course, she already knew. 

“Yeah, about that.” He sighed, “I don’t think I’m gonna do it.” 

Sebastian heard Lucy starting to talk to him, but he was too busy staring at Alex to listen to her. He was eavesdropping. Alex stood at one of the slot-machienes, lurking in the shadows not far from him. Sebastian quickly stood up, walking towards the door, not raising his phone to his ear again until he was outside.

Lucy had – of course – hung up by now. He felt like an idiot, when the bell rang behind his back. It was a bulk of people, leaving the saloon. Alex was not one of them, but most of the other young people from the town were now outside and started grouping. He saw Abigail and Penny heading for the beach, before noticing Sam heading in his direction.

“Okay now tell me what’s going on. I’m serious.”

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“What? You shooting looks with Alex and leaving the saloon, your phone pressed against your chest like your life depends on it.” Sam would not let this one go. Time to spill the beans. Ugh, this was going to be terrible.

“I got the job in the city.”

“Oh. My. God.” Sam’s eyes lit up. It felt like he was lifting the shadows of the night with his bride smile.

“I’m not taking it.”

And the smile was gone.

“But why wouldn’t you wanna do this? It’s everything you ever wanted!” 

Sebastian couldn’t help but take a quick glance over to Hannah, who was standing next to the tavern, chatting with Shane and Leah. He heard Sam sucking in air.

“Oh dear lord, is it that serious?”

Oh damn. What on earth could he say to that? Yes? No? Was it? How would he answer that, without even knowing it himself? But then again, he knew he didn’t want to go take the job in the city. Wasn’t that his answer?

He looked at Sam, then back to Hannah and felt more lost than ever.


	23. In which Sam sweats a lot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're heading towards the final conflict :)
> 
> No Triggers  
> Revised: No

So far, his day had been pretty good. The sun was shining down on the small city in the valley, warming up the cold air, making it seem like maybe they still got some time until winter. He had been at work for most of the day, locked inside the cold, grey walls of the Jojamart – stepping outside into the sun felt too good to be true.

Regardless of work, he had had a good day. His phone had been playing all the right music on shuffle, his boss hadn’t bothered him all day and Shane had been in a particularly good mood today as well. Life was good. At least for a bit.

Ever since his mom had gotten worse he dreaded both his home and work. Feeling light and good and at ease with the world was a feeling he was quite grateful for.

He made his way to town, crossing the bridge next to the mart, smiling at Evelyn on his way to Pierre’s. He was in dire need of some chocolate.

“’Evening Pierre!” Sam walked across the shop and flashed a wide smile at the owner.

“Hey Sam. Long day?”

“You know it. Got some chocolate for me? I know you keep the good stuff in the back.”

Pierre grinned at him. “Sure thing, hold on for a sec.”

He left through the backdoor that led to his own home and Sam was alone in the shop. It felt weird standing in here alone. The sun was slowly setting now and shadows crawled over the countertop and in between the shelves. Sam shivered. He remembered sneaking in here with Abigail and Sebastian when they were younger. It had been at Spirit’s Eve and they snuck in to get some candy, while all the adults were outside. It was Abi’s idea, of course. 

A small, almost sad smile showed on his face and Sam managed to wipe off the melancholic look just before Pierre reentered. 

“I’m gonna close up now”, he said with a hoarse voice. “Nobody’s coming in anymore.”

Sam wanted to say something, but he couldn’t think of anything valuable. He smiled at Pierre, took the candy in exchange for the money and headed out. Almost home.

Home. A strange word. 

His thoughts wandered off to Sebastian and he felt extreme relief at the thought of not loosing him. It was weird how quickly he threw away his dream for Hannah. But then again everyone who saw them together could understand. There was this thing between them. This unspoken warmth.

Sam made a mental note of that sentence. He could use that in a future song.

When he pulled up in front of his house, a note on the door made his stomach ache. Dear lord what was it now?

“Hey Sam, could you pick up Vincent from Marnies after sundown? He and Jas wanted to play with the horses and Jody said it was okay. – Penny”

He realized how tense he had been, when the stress relieved itself from his body with a huge sigh. It was nothing. Thank god.

Sam shouldered his bag and started walking again. Marnie’s house was only a short walk from here. When he entered the forest, he could taste the cool air on his tongue. It smelled like wood and moss and dirt – but in a really good way.

Just as he was about to approach the ranch, he saw a familiar jacket in between trees not far from him. Alex. But why was he here?

Sam didn’t really know why, but he snuck up on the other boy and hid behind some trees. As he peaked out from underneath them, he held his breath. Alex was with Hannah. But why? What was going on here?

The both of them were just about to sit down at the lake. Hannah was already dressed in her winter coat. Sam was close enough to eavesdrop. And against his better judgement, he did.

“I don’t know”, that was Hannah, “I guess I’m just confused about it.”

“Yeah I can relate. It never get’s easier living here.” Alex was looking at the lake with a weird kind of determination in his eyes.

“Really? I mean, I already feel at home. It’s just-“

“-you don’t quite feel like part of it all.”

Hannah nodded. “Yeah. That’s it.”

“I have been living here for what feels like an eternity. Still the same. No matter what I do. I guess, that’s just the way it is in small towns like this.” He shuffled closer to Hannah. Sam felt his eyebrows rise against his will. 

“Alex”, Hannah placed her hand on his shoulder. She looked uncomfortable. “I’m not gonna say it again. I’m happy being friends with you, but if you don’t stop acting like this-“

“It’s because of emo-boy, right? You like him.” The energy between them shifted. “Tough luck girl, he’s gonna be gone soon.”

“What?” She leaned back, looking harshly at Alex. “What do you mean?”

“He got a job in the city. In a couple of months, he’ll be outta this town.” Alex was hiding a smile. Sam bit his lower lip. This was bad. Really bad.

“Just like I said”, he stood up, “no matter what you do. They never fully trust you. Pretty shitty huh?”

Sam didn’t hear, if or what Hannah answered to that. He backed off, walking slowly at first and starting to run, once he was sure they couldn’t hear him. 

He had to tell Sebastian. This was so very not good. 

What on earth was Alex thinking? And why the fuck was he doing this? It was clear he was into Hannah, even though it didn’t make any sense. He was into sporty, small girls without a loud mouth. Why was everyone so goddamn obsessed with her?

He felt bad thinking this. Of course, she was awesome and just because Alex was usually into skinnier girls didn’t mean, that she wasn’t ‘pretty enough’ for guys like him.

Sam decided to stop thinking until he reached Sebastian. He felt like a dick for thinking about her like that. 

About halfway across town he remembered, that he hadn’t been jogging for a long time. Soccer, the occasional gridballplay and long walks were more his forte than actual running. His feet hurt, there was sweat just about everywhere and his hair – he didn’t even want to think about how it must look by now.

“Sebby!” Sam called out into the growing darkness. Sebastian was – thankfully – outside, smoking on his usual spot. He looked confused.

“Sam? What are you doing here? And why do you look wet? Is that sweat?”

“Don’t judge, I ran all the way up here.”

“That’s not even a mile.”

“You really wanna give me attitude right now? I got important news!”

“Spill it.”

Sam tried steadying his breath, before starting to talk again. “Alex knows you got the job.”

Sebastian looked mildly surprised, but not alarmed. “So?”

“He told Hannah.”

“What?” Sebastians cheeks reddened and Sam saw, that he was trying to make sense out of this.

“I saw them. They sat at the lake and he told her and – Seb? Where are you going?”

“Inside.”

Sam looked at his best friend like he’d just gone mad. 

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Play a game or something.”

“No. No. Sebby you need to go to Hannah and tell her what’s going on. She thinks you’ll leave soon and-“

“So? She got Alex’s shoulder to lean on to.”

“I hate you sometimes, you know that. MOVE YOUR ASS TO HER HOUSE OR I WILL HIT YOU!” Sam felt anger rising up in his chest. This son of a bitch was so occupied feeling sorry for himself at the slightest mention of Hannah being seen with someone else, he didn’t even realize what this really meant.

“Sebby.” He took the arm of his best friend and tried smiling, “he told her that, because she rejected him. That means she’s into you. So you better get moving!”

“It means that he thinks she’s into me. I’ll tell her, okay? Just not now.”

And with this Sebastian was gone, leaving Sam behind, who had no idea what just happened or how this could have turned out like this. It felt like Sebastian didn’t even want to be happy.

On his way back down a though struck his mind. What if Sebastian was more afraid of being rejected than he wanted happiness?


	24. In which Hannah slaps someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the title is clickbait-y but still DRAMA.
> 
> No triggers.  
> Revised: No

So far so good.

Hannah stood in front of her greenhouse and looked proudly at her work. Well, her and Robin’s. But still, it looked awesome. She took a step inside and inhaled the smell of warm earth and fresh greens.

If winter wanted to come early and ruin her crops, she’d hit back. In a couple of weeks this house would be filled with grown, beautiful plants. She couldn’t wait.

But this wasn’t all the comfort the greenhouse came with. She’d installed some sprinklers inside that took care of watering the plants. And thanks to it being a closed space, weed-growth also was minimized.

So now it was 10am and she had nothing to do. 

Great.

Maybe not so good after all, she thought feeling herself fidgeting at the prospect of not having anything to do all day. She needed the work by now, otherwise she’d go mad.

Thankfully Sam wanted to come over at noon. Two hours to go.

Two more hours.

Damn, she thought and got outside to check on her animals. Maybe she should get more animals? Now that she got the time she might even be able to entertain a horse. Hannah snorted, right, her on a horse. Not a good idea.

She’d end up with more broken bones than healthy ones.

Her thoughts wandered off to the last evening and a weird kind of pain emerged from her insides. Sebastian was going to be gone in what - weeks? And if that wasn’t shitty enough, he didn’t even tell her.

And there was something else. Usually she ignored Alex as good as she could. He was a nice guy, but too flirty for her liking and she felt uncomfortable under his gaze. But the thing he said yesterday hit her harder than expected. ‘They never fully trust you.’ He was right.

She did feel at home here. Everything was easy and slow, yet exciting and fast at the same time. But no matter how close she grew with the people here, there was always a slight border. An empty space, not being filled no matter what she did.

It fucking hurt.

Not even because of Sebastian, just in general.

Of course, it hurt even more, because she thought Sam and Sebastian were the two people that didn’t hold her at a distance. And now she knew, that they did. She had nobody in this town that trusted her, like she trusted them.

The little voice in her head started talking again. 

That’s a lie. You do keep them at a distance. You lie to them. No one of them knows who you are.

She ignored the voice and focussed on the cooing of her hens. Chickens were so easy to be around. 

Hannah must’ve traced off, because the next thing she realized was someone knocking on the door of the coop.

“Yeah?”

“Hey.” It was Sam. He looked good, like he finally slept some more.

“You’re early.” Said Hannah.

He frowned, “no I’m not.”

She glanced at the watch on her wrist and her eyes widened. He was right. Somehow time had passed. Weird what her chickens sometimes did to her. “Sorry”, she rubbed her eyes, “I didn’t realize how late it already was.”

“That’s fine”, he flashed his signature smile and Hannah smiled back. But it felt not quite right.

“Let’s go inside.” She heard the tiredness in her own voice, but Sam didn’t seem to mind. He followed her into the house, watched her wash her hands, took the tea she made and even engaged in some small talk.

But she could tell that he had something on his mind he wanted to tell her. It took him almost three hours to finally spill the beans.

“I saw you with Alex yesterday”, Sam’s voice was quiet, but she could hear the mockery in it. And something else. Sadness maybe?

“Yeah, so what?” It took her by surprise. She was in the kitchen, washing their dishes when he came forward.

“Your taste in men is terrible.” 

She got angry. So that’s how it was now? He spied on her, just to make fun of what she does on her own time? Lowkey accusing her of not telling him everyone she hung out with? After the shit he pulled? No. Not today.

“Thank you, but I can very well decide for myself who I spend time with. I don’t need your judgement.”

Sam held his hands in the air, looking like he wanted to defend himself, but she wasn’t finished yet.

“No, you shut up for now. I’ve had it with these sly comments. Say what you think or don’t say anything at all. And how did you see us? We were at the lake, you had no business there. Did you spy on me?”

“No, I just saw Alex and-“

“And what? Got closer, saw me and decided to investigate? Are you that bored?” He wanted to put his hand on her shoulder but she slapped it away. 

“Hey”, now he looked angry as well, “why are you like this now? I didn’t do anything.”

“You insinuate that I go out with Alex after seeing us at the lake instead of just fucking asking me, hinting instead, that I got terrible taste in men.”

“Alex is an asshole!”

“So you decided who I get to like now? Because you don’t like a guy?”

“There are people in this town that actually care about you. Not like him, he’s not-“

“worth it? And who the fuck is then, hm?” Her eyebrows rose up until she could feel the tension of her stretched skin.

“Someone who really likes you. And who I know you like back. Sebastian. Stop giving me shit for pointing out, who you should approach. Who would make you really fucking happy and you know it. I’m not overstepping here, I’m doing something that is necessary! I have to, since you two idiots don’t get it done by yourself!” He had talked himself into rage, his face was bride red.

She froze at the mention of Sebastian. Was he really going to tell her to ‘approach’ Sebastian, knowing that he would leave in a couple of weeks, leaving her behind? Wow. And she thought he was her friend.

Hannah pinched the back of her nose and took a deep breath before talking. This was going to hurt, but she had to do it.

“Maybe the reason why me and Sebastian aren’t a couple is because we are friends and nothing more. We know that. Maybe you should think about why you haven’t picked up on that. What you did here today, people don’t do that. I – you know what? I feel like you should leave right now.”

She opened her eyes and looked at him, looking at her. He seemed, like he wanted to tell her something. Maybe he finally wanted to tell the truth. But he didn’t. He just turned around and left.


	25. In which Sebastian should be happy but isn’t

He found himself staring at his phone again. The screen went dark and left him in complete darkness. It fit his situation. Darkness and loneliness. He sighed. 

Since when did he get lonely? He liked being alone, damnit!

Sebastian rolled over and sat up. His room was lit extremely sparely through the small window to the left. His room. He sighed again. So many memories, mostly of being alone. It had never been a problem – he had never had a problem with being alone.

Until other memories appeared. Memories of Hannah laughing, sitting on his couch playing Sonic while he programmed, her playing with Sam and him, her dying his hair for fucks sake. What the hell had happed to him? 

He bit his lower lip and lay back down on his back, staring at the ceiling. The problem of not having enough empty space to stare at was one, he was familiar with. A bitter feeling, but he liked how for once, something in his life had not been altered by Hannah.

Well, that wasn’t exactly true now, was it?

He tried listening to some music but stopped again, when Paramore came on.

Not this fucking song. Not now. Nope. It hit way to close to home.

He opened Whatsapp and stared at Sams profile picture. It was 3 am. He would not call him. But as much as he wanted to find comfort in reading their last messages, like he did every time he needed someone in the middle of the night, he couldn’t bring himself to open the chat. Their last couple of messaged hurt too much.

“Don’t tell her.”

“What?”

“Hannah. Don’t tell her. Sorry Seb, just don’t.”

“What are you saying? What do you mean?”

“I fucked up and went too far. She told me you two are just friends. I’m so, so sorry.”

Sebastian hadn’t answered to that. Sam send a couple more messages, telling him that he was sorry over and over. But Sebastian wasn’t even mad at him for pushing Hannah. He was mad at himself for even allowing his heart to take over his head. As fucking if a girl like Hannah would ever fall for him. What on earth had he been thinking? Was he really that fucking stupid?

He scrolled through Instagram for some time, then Twitter and then he ran out of social media accounts and went back to staring in the dark.

It was nearly 5:30 when he decided to give up and do something other than just passing time. He went outside to smoke and took a stroll into town. The sun just started creeping up over the soft hills around the valley and he knew, that Hannah should be up now. He found himself wandering in the direction of her farm but left the path to head over to Marnie’s instead.

She was already out and about, feeding the animals.

“Hey Sebastian, aren’t you an early worm? You on your way over to Hannah’s?”

“No I’m just wandering.”

“Pity, you could’ve dropped these eggs for me.” She winked. “Why don’t you want to visit her? Trouble in paradise?”

“Oh my god, this town is like one freaking chit-chat-group.” Sebastian threw his hands in the air and reached for the eggs, “I’ll drop them off.” He rolled his eyes at her laughter and went on, greeting Jas and Shane on his way up.

He felt a weird feeling bubbling in his stomach, as he approached Hannah’s farm. They were still friends, he just had to act normal and get over his stupid little crush. That was it.

“Hey there”, Hannah appeared behind some trees, already looking like she’d done several hours of work.

“Hey”, he smiled.

“Nice eggs.” Sebastian realized that he was holding a carton of eggs, his cheeks got a little hot.

“Oh yeah, they’re from Marnie. For you.” He added and held them towards her, so that she could grab the carton.

“Thanks for bringing them over.”

He ruffled through his hair, “so I came to say sorry for Sam’s behaviour.”

“Oh”, her face hardened for a second, “yeah he was out of line the other night.”

“I know, he told me. And he’s really sorry, he’s just too scared to tell you.”

“That kid”, she groaned, “tell him it’s okay.”

“I will.” He cleared his throat. “So, I gotta head out again, see you soon?”

“Sure.”

He turned around and walked away staring straight down to the ground. It was not gonna work, was it?

*

Sebastian returned to the house of his family around half past seven, with eggs and freshly baked bread. His mom was just whipping up breakfast when he came in, looking at him with so much emotion, as he started helping her, it nearly made him sick.

After having breakfast he went down to his room and started his pc, staring once again into nothingness, after opening his email.

He smiled tiredly at the new response on his screen.

“Hey Seb, so I asked, and the job is still yours. Get ready to move!”

He realized that he should be happy, but he really, really wasn’t.


	26. In which Sam hates everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me.
> 
> No triggers.  
> Revised: No.

“I fucking hate you.”

Sam sat next on the couch, arms crossed, looking at Sebastian with as much judgement in his eyes as he felt was possible. If he would let down his guard he’d probably start crying. His best friend was moving. In a fucking week. And he didn’t tell him about it.

“What happened, hm Sebby?” He sounded angrier than intended.

Sebastian shot him a dark look, “you know what happened. She was the reason I didn’t take the job and now I’m taking it.” He swept away his bangs and frowned at the carton in front of him. “Quite frankly Sam, I don’t really get why you’re angry with me. You knew this was bound to happen one day.”

“Yeah, but then you decided to stay, and I thought that I might not lose my best friend. And that felt nice, so sorry if I’m not celebrating you leaving me behind!” 

He felt himself tearing up. Great. Just fucking great. 

“I’m sorry if you see it like this.” Sebastian was looking at him, with a serious expression. “But Sam we are too old to not develop our lives. You’ll be off to college soon, leaving me behind if I would stay. This way you could actually come live with me. It’ll all work itself out. You’ll see.”

“You are just pissed.” Sam squinted his eyes, knowing that he would hurt Sebastian with the next words. But to be honest, he didn’t really care. “Pissed because a girl doesn’t like you back. Which feels like you are 14 again, man. She wasn’t the reason you bailed on the job. You never wanted it in the first place but were too scared to admit that to yourself. So you searched for an excuse and got it. And now you are so occupied feeling sorry for yourself, that you don’t even realize it.”

Sam was standing now, his hands rolled into tight fists. Sebastian didn’t say anything. He just looked to the floor and for a split second Sam thought, he might actually opened him up to the truth. 

“I’m going Sam.” He sounded soft and really hurt. Sam didn’t expect such a reaction. Sebastian sounded like a wounded animal. “I don’t know if you are right or not, but I can’t stay here. Sorry if you don’t understand that.”

Sam swallowed hard and nodded. “Sorry for being so hard on you. I just can’t imagine this town without you.”

“And I am so fucking scared to live in the city all by myself.” His best friend was still looking down, when Sam pulled him into a hug. They stood there like this for at least a minute. It felt good and bad at the same time. Good because they were honest with each other, bad because whatever they did, Sam felt like it was the last time they would do it. When Sebby was gone, everything would change. But the worst part was, that he would be all alone when his dad would come back. Hannah was here yeah, but he felt, like she was growing sick of caring about him. And in the end, there was no one he trusted like Sebastian. 

He though of telling Sebastian all of this. But this was not about him feeling left behind. His friend was hurt more that he admitted. He needed to do this. Sam would just have to manage. 

He left Sebastian’s room shortly after. It was growing dark and his friend needed all the time he had to pack everything up. He’d move in just under a week. Holy shit. 

It was raining outside, but it felt nice walking alone in the rain. The drops of water made calming sounds and the feeling of them on his skin made him feel alive.

Maybe that was, why he stayed calm when he got home. Or maybe he just didn’t really care anymore. Drama was a daily part of his life now, or so it seemed. His mother was having a bad day, big news. His brother was at Pennies. She told him on the phone that it was no bother, getting him home, since he was already half asleep.

Sam just shrugged everything off and sat on his bed, playing a slow tune on his guitar. He didn’t want to bother Hannah again, Sebastian was occupied and Abigail was probably with Penny as well. He was all alone with his problems. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing after all. 

He would be alone a lot in the near future, better prepare.

A text from Hannah made him stop playing for a few minutes. 

“Everything ok?”

He didn’t respond. Sebastian had texted him as well, but Sam didn’t even bother to open the message. He just sat there and played. His room fell dark, as the sun vanished from the sky for the day and he didn’t put on any lights in his room.

He played in the dark, his fingers remembering the chords even without his eyes seeing them. The moonlight outlined the things in his room with a pale shimmer. And he just played.

Sam didn’t know for how long he had been playing, when a knock in his window ripped him out of his trance. Half expecting Abigail, his eyes widened when he saw Hannah standing outside. 

“Hey”, he opened the window and smelled the ocean in the fresh air that came swooping into his room. 

“Hey.” She looked concerned and sad. 

Lease leave me alone, Sam thought. I need to be alone right now. I need to be allowed to have my own problems and not bother anyone with them, or have them share their own shit with me.

But instead of saying that, he started climbing out of his window – which was kinda ridiculous, considering, that his mother was knocked out by sleeping medicine right now and wouldn’t even notice him going out the front door. But he climbed out nonetheless. 

Hannah didn’t say anything. It was weird. They both just knew. Seb had told Sam that he would move this morning. She thought he’d move for over a week now. Their sadness was a shared one, though Sam felt, like his was a little heftier. He knew Sebastian longer and Hannah had no idea, that he actually planned on staying until she pulled that shit the other night. Till she told him that she and Seb were just friends. 

Nothing more. 

Sam wondered for a second, what had happened, had he not told Sebastian that. Maybe he would have told her he wouldn’t move. But what then? Sooner or later he’d figure out that Hannah wasn’t into him and if she would have told him, that Sam knew all along – that would have been the end of their friendship.

And then he would have lost him.

Maybe it was for the better that it happened now. 

They were headed to the beach. Sam just now realized that. Hannah led him to the docks, seemingly in her own thoughts as well.

It tool a while to break the silence.

“So he’s really gonna leave.” Her voice was hoarse.

“Yeah.”

“I mean until now I just kinda thought, he wouldn’t. Don’t know. It wasn’t real, you know? But when he called me this morning, telling me that he’d be gone in a couple of days…”

If only you knew, Sam thought. “He called you?”

“Yeah. It was kinda weird actually. He sounded, like the decision was new. He sounded so sad, Sam. Like he doesn’t really wanna go.”

“I know, but he needs to do this.”

She nodded, but Sam knew that she had no idea what he meant, which was for the better. He still cursed at himself for telling her how nice they would fit together. It was out of place and kinda got the stoned rolling. If he was being honest, he was the one who started this mess. But he couldn’t give himself the fault for that. That would probably shoot him over the egde.

“I am so sad, Sam.” She sounded heartbroken and Sam wondered, if she was really telling the truth. He saw the way she looked at Seb, there just had to be some feelings. But if she was inclined to keep them contained she had her reasons. Or maybe she just didn’t recognize them as feelings just yet.

Whatever it was, he would stay out of it. He had done enough damage already and manipulating Hannah into telling Sebastian something, she was not yet ready to tell him, just so that his best friend would stay in town – that just felt evil.

The sun was coming up again, slowly rising, turning the ocean in front of them into a golden mirror. He felt almost normal again. Hannah nuzzled into his side, the early-morning-peace setting in. This was home. And soon there would be a big part of this missing. 

He felt those damn tears coming up again.

“Sam?” Hannah was still looking straight towards the ocean.

“Do you think Sebastian will come visit? Or call?”

“I don’t know”, he was being honest. He really didn’t. 

The girl next to him shifted. “This is not how I imagined living here would be like.”

“Caring for a fucked up guy with an even more fucked up family, befriending someone just to loose him again and sitting on a dock at”, he glanced at his watch, “5:30 in the morning is not how you imagined small town life?”

She let out a small snort. “No, weirdly enough it isn’t. Should’ve done more research I guess.”

She took her head of his shoulder and looked at him. “You are not as fucked up, as you think.”

“Oh I’m not? Go to my house and tell that to my high-on-sleeping-pills-mother.”

“Damn.” She whispered. “You could have told me that.”

“No”, he let out a sigh, “I bother you with so much, I feel ridiculous enough already.”

“You don’t bother me.” She frowned, still looking at him. 

Sam realized, how close their faces were. 

Maybe it was the early morning, maybe all the sadness, maybe the stress. But without any good reason he felt their heads moving closer until they kissed. For a moment, there was nothing but warmth and cosiness. Kissing was really nice, he had to admit that. 

When they pulled away, a strange look formed on Hannah’s face. He laughed. “That was… weird.” He said.

“Yeah”, she laughed as well.

He knew, that that had not been a romantic kiss. Kissing was just something people did, when they really needed to feel close to someone. But then he remembered Sebastian’s feelings towards Hannah and the fact, that he just kissed the girl his best friend was in love with, made his stomach ache. 

He also felt like he was trapped in a really bad telenovela and that people would pop up from nowhere, screaming in spanish about sleeping with each other’s cousins, any second now. Of course, that didn’t happen, but still – how pathetic was his life right now.

Hannah had fallen silent again and Sam wondered, if she was overthinking this as much as he was.


	27. In which Hannah can’t stand silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No triggers.  
> Revised: No

Something broke in her, as she watched Sebastian pack up. Three boxes and that would be it. There was a big car parked outside the house, his motorcycle was neatly packed inside, together with the rest of his life. 

“One thing left to do.” Sebastian looked at her, as they got the last few of his belongings into the car. She nodded, they had talked about this. It was time.

“Hey Maru, can I talk to you for a second?” She chatted up Sebastian’s sister whilst he made his way into her room. 

“Sure thing, what is it?” The girl was radiant. Full of life, as usual. Hannah felt bad for doing this to her, but it was for the better. She made up a story about a robotic helper on the farm to collect the eggs and managed to hold the conversation as long as she needed to last.

When Sebastian came back, giving her a slight nod, Hannah quickly thanked Maru for her time and made her way towards her brother. 

“I got the bottle.” She made a grimace, “Harvey will be shattered.” Sebastian agreed, “yeah but we gotta do this. I gotta do this.”

*

Hannah never got the hang out of hospitals. She knew that a lot of people didn’t like them, but she just felt weird in them. Like she didn’t belong. Everyone was always busy and looking stressed, the air smelling of disinfectant. But not here. Harvey was a nice, friendly man in his 30s. She sometimes stopped by to chat with him or supplied him with whatever she managed to pickle that week. 

His warm eyes gave her a bad feeling, when she entered his clinic. Here he was, probably thinking they would have a normal chat, like any other day.

“Hey there farmerlady”, he had a slight southern accent, which she usually cooed about. But not today. “Oh, and hello Sebastian.”

Harvey instantly noticed that something was wrong. Of course he did. He was quite smart and quick on his feet. 

“Hello Doc”, Sebastian gave the man a slight smile. 

“As much as I’d like to think that you came to say goodbye, I guess there’s more to your visite than that?” He was spot on. She felt Sebastian tense up next to her.

“Yeah”, he grabbed his own wrist, “I mean I wanted to say goodbye and thank you, of course, but there is more.”

“Let’s go into my office”, he scratched the skin under his his moustache and led the way to the small room in the back. There he sat down, ushering Hannah and Sebastian into the other two chairs. 

“Harvey”, Hannah started, “we got to tell you something quite important. You know how shit goes down in this city, pardon my French here, but what we are about to tell you cannot become town gossip, okay?”

“You know that I am obliged to stay silent. Doctor-patient-confidentiality.” He looked concerned, “Hannah is everything okay with you? If your pregnant I can-“

“Jesus fuck no”, Sebastian blasted out and Hannah almost started laughing. 

“Okay. Quite a strong reaction to that. But what else would you two have to tell me?”

“That’s the thing”, Hannah ignored Sebastian, who was coloured a bride red, “it’s not about us.”

“Oh?” Harvey frowned. “Tell me already Hannah, you are worrying me quite a bit.”

“It’s about Maru”, she watched the doctor’s friendly expression slip for a second.

“What about her?” He was quite fond of Maru, Hannah knew that. Sebastian was still playing a human tomato next to her, so she just grabbed the pill bottle out of the pocket of his jacket and handed it to Harvey.

“She’s been taking these.”

“Oh”, his eyes widened as he studied the bottle, “oh Maru no.” Harvey adjusted his glasses. “Are you sure? Those are quite serious allegations.”

“I saw her take one.” Sebastian was back to his normal self, with just a flash of red on his cheeks left. 

“I see. Thank you two for telling me this, especially you Sebastian. I know that this must be hard on you. I will try to help her as discreetly as I can manage.” The doctor nodded to himself, “the poor girl must’ve been under a lot of pressure. It might even be my fault.”

“No”, Sebastian tried comforting the older man, “believe me, working here is like a vacation for her. You should see her at home. Demetrius is so busy being proud of her, he never even notices, how much he pushed her. No wonder she takes these, how else will she fulfil the wonders he expects from her.”

Hannah stayed silent, she knew that Sebastian was talking about his own relationship with Demetrius as well. The man really had to dial his pride down. Nothing was ever good enough, or so it seemed.

Harvey thanked them again, making his proper goodbyes with Sebastian before the left the clinic. Her heart dropped to her knees. Their last mission. He’d leave now. She knew it and he knew it, yet they stayed silent until they reached the house of his family.

“Keep an eye on Maru for me, will you?” He got the keys for the car and just sort of stood there.

“I will.” She shuffled her hands in her pockets. “You think Sam will come?”

“No. He’s not good with goodbyes. Besides he seems more distressed than usual, I’m guessing it’s his mom again.”

Nope, she thought, but nodded. The kiss really fucked with Sam’s head, so it seemed. She had not yet allowed herself to think about that. Everything seemed to crumble around her. And now she stood next to Sebastian, who was going to leave her now, and all she wanted to do was say something. Not sure what, but something. There had to be a way to make him stay.

There was.

She knew it. But her brain decided to ignore that idea. It would not be right.

So, she just looked at him and he looked at her.

And then he got in the car and drove away. And Hannah stood alone outside the cottage. The window in the basement was dark. As she began to slowly walk towards her house, she noticed something in her pocket. 

Her fingers touched the small, cold metal object and a piece of paper. It was a lighter. And a note from Sebastian. He must’ve snuck that in her pocked, when they were hugging earlier. 

“I’ll always give you a light, when you need one. (But seriously don’t lose the lighter or my metaphor will be broken.”

Hannah felt tears covering her cheeks, as she headed up the mountain path. They dug sharply into her skin, in the chilly breeze. 

As she pulled up by her house she noticed Sam sitting on the porch, his head in his hands. She pulled him up and into a hug, before leading the way inside. Nobody said a word. She made tea and they drank it in silence. Sometimes someone sniffled a little. She headed to her bed and Sam followed, just laying next to her looking at the ceiling together.

Hannah couldn’t take the silence anymore. She got her phone and put on rainy mood. The sound of rain made Sam perk up the slightest.

“What’s that?” He mumbled heavily, but she understood him.

“Rainymood. An app that plays the sound of rain. I use it to sleep.”

“Seb would love it.”

She said nothing after that. Sam was curled up into a ball next to her. Hannah had no clue how they would survive this. It had been a couple of hours and she missed Sebastian more, that she’d ever knew she could. It was weird, knowing she could not just pop over there to chat in the middle of the night. Her fingers touched the lighter that was still in her pocket, twisting it in between two fingers, she knew, that she would not sleep tonight.


	28. In which people make mistakes and life moves on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> I can't even beginn to apologize for my absence. To make it short, my dad died a while ago and I really fell into a hole and had no head for writing.   
> I hope you all don't hate me now, for just leaving. I recieved many nice comments and would like to thank you, for sticking up with me. I can't promise anything, but I will try to finish the story asap. There are four chapters missing till the end + a Oneshot. 
> 
> Sorry again, I hope you understand.

Sebastian sat at his desk and stared out the window. He had his own kitchen, but it was completely grey and there was nothing in the fridge yet.

His fingers were twitching as he reached for the cigarettes next to him, ready to head outside, when it hit him. You can smoke in here, he thought. Nobody is telling you, you have to do it outside. He left the pack where it was and returned to work. 

Two hours later he found himself on the phone, ready to call Sam or text Hannah. But instead of doing that, he called Maru.

“How’s it going city boy?” Her voice sounded tired, but cheerful.

“Really good”, he forced himself to a light tone, “how are you?”

Maru hadn’t been mad at him for snitching her secret to Harvey. Instead she had proceeded to move into the cellar and was on a serious feud with Demetrius, who took all of this for rebellious teenage-behaviour. Sebastian wasn’t sure whether he should be proud or mortified that she was turning into him. 

“Oh, you know, same old. Dad’s still not talking to me.” She was hurt but overplayed it really well. He cursed at himself for not being there for her. He had spent all his free time hating her for being perfect when he was still living with his family, and now that he was gone he developed brotherly feelings. Of fucking course.

They ended their chat quickly after that. She promised to come visit him next week and he genuinely looked forward to seeing her. His heart pumped at the thought of home. He missed Sam so much, it hurt. And Hannah, she was still in his head whenever he tried listening to music.

Sebastian put her contact photo up on his screen and looked at her, until he felt creepy. He’d never get over her this way, he reminded himself, and got back to work.

*

She woke up next to Sam. Her cat was laying in between them and for a second, she closed her eyes and imagined everything was normal.

Sam was awake. He looked at her with sad eyes. Too sad, for an early morning. She felt her body cling to the bed but forced herself in an upwards position.

“Good morning.”

Nothing good about this morning.

Hannah left Sam behind as she wandered to her kitchen to make herself some coffee. It was raining outside. She nearly laughed. Sebastian would have loved this. 

*

Sam made his way to work. The music was blasting through his earphones, as he passed Shane. They spend most of their breaks together now. But he still felt a little stiff around the former town-drunk. Despite him being really nice and fluffy on the inside, Shane still looked rough. But then again, Sam tried to avoid mirrors himself now. 

His father was about to come home, and he had never slept less in his life.

He spotted Hannah standing on a bridge right next to the Joja-Mart. Shane greeted her and passed the two of them, when Sam paused next to her, pulling down his earphones.

“Hey there”, she smiled. “On your way to work?”

“Yeah”, he grimaced, “4 hours of my life down the drain.”

“Oh you poor boy”, she grinned again, “you wanna come over later?” It was a courtesy question, Sam had been over at her house almost every single day for the past three weeks. He nodded and pulled the earphones back over his head, heading to the entrance of his dreaded workplace.

The Joja-Mart was always cold. Filtered air rand through Sam’s lungs, as he picked up a broom and started swiping the floors. After he finished that up, he took a quick break chatting with Shane, until he got on to his next task. The one he hated the most, controlling the temperature in the freezers. There was nothing more tedious than putting a thermometer into a freezer, waiting for it to reach the wanted temperature, write it down and moving on to the next one.

And he had to do that every single day. 

When his shift finally ended, he felt like a boulder had been lifted from his shoulders. As he walked down to the city to pick up Vincent, he spotted Abigail, who was one her way to Penny’s as well. Penny and Pam had a new house now, financed by everyone in town. It was really great.

They walked over there together, and Sam felt normality creeping up inside him. This was his life now. He thought of Sebastian for a second, until his little brother demanded his attention. With a pit in his stomach, they started walking towards Hannah’s farm.

*

Sebastian went to work, got home, worked some more, at something, slept a couple hours and went to work again. Maru visited every two weeks and they spend some time in a nearby park. It was nice, but weird, seeing artificial nature like this. Everything was artificial here, he thought. 

Was this a mistake?

*

It had been weeks since their kiss, when Sam finally addressed it. Hannah was just finishing up their dishes, as he approached her. 

“Hey Hannah?”

“Yeah”, she hummed.

“You remember that kiss?”

“Uhm”, she turned around, “yeah.” Shit. Up until now everything had been normal again, well as normal as it could be with Seb gone, and now this. “Why?”

“I was just wondering what happened that night.” He sounded like a shy child. She felt bad for him, of course he wondered. 

“I guess we were just emotional and lonely”, Hannah shrugged, trying to make it sound less like a mistake. “I think stuff like that happens?”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded. “You know I felt so bad for that.” 

“Me too”, she leaned to the kitchen countertop.

“Why?” He looked scared off his own words, like he wasn’t telling her something. She remembered the bitter feeling when she figured out that they had been hiding something from her but shook it off.

“Just generally”, she said. “But most of all I feel really bad because”, she inhaled deeply, “that was your first kiss and it was with me and yeah…” she trailed off.

“You really don’t have to feel bad for that.”

“I don’t?”

“No. I feel really comfortable around you, you know. It’s okay. I mean you were the first girl I slept in a bed with as well.” He grinned.

“Yeah, kinda funny we kissed weeks after that. Sounds so wrong to anyone without context.” She was smiling as well now.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure”, she felt more secure, now that was over.

“What’s the difference between love and comfort?”

Hannah swallowed. That was surprisingly hard to answer. “Uhm. I don’t know how to explain that. You know how we feel comfortable around each other?”

Sam nodded, waiting for more.

“Well love is like that, but with a spark. You want to spend every second together, and when you touch them you feel like someone lit fireworks inside your stomach. And in the beginning, everytime you’re about to see that person, you feel happy and terrible at the same time, because you’re always nervous.”

He nodded, “you know, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. And I want that, like really want that. And I want to be honest with you, ever since Seb left, I though about you a lot. And about our kiss.”

Oh god. Hannah clenched her hands to fists. 

“I know, that this is not like love. You just confirmed that. But I’m really scared that I will never find someone to feel that way.”

Hannah took a deep breath, that was thankfully going into a different direction than she anticipated. “You will, eventually.”

“But how do you know that?” He looked really sad again, “I mean I’m 21 and you are the only person I ever kissed. How will I even know?”

She laughed, “oh I promise you, you will. Falling in love is so damn special, it just hits you one day. Though I gotta say, I will miss you sleeping next to me, when that day arrives.” She gave him a smirk, which he gave back.

“Can I ask you something else?”

Hannah nodded again. Holding her breath for what life-shattering question would follow the last one.

“Can you promise me, that you are going to be honest with me?”

She hesitated before nodding slowly, not answering verbally.

“What you just described, you felt that around Sebastian didn’t you?”

Her eyes widened, before she looked to the floor not answering for at least a minute. Her brain was still searching for what to say, when her mouth already said “yes.”

*

Sebastian was miserable, Maru could hear that in his voice every time they talked on the phone. But that was not the only indicator. Him calling her almost every day was the other one. He’d never been the type to be clinging to someone like that. 

So, she knew that he missed the town and the people here. 

“You could come back”, she said into her phone, laying on her bed staring into empty space.

“Can I?” She wasn’t sure. 

“If you want to, there will be a way.” Maru tried sounding positive.

“My friends hate me.”

“They don’t.”

“I made a terrible mistake Maru. I left them just like that and now their lives go on and I am trapped here.”

“Just come back.”

“And do what?”

“Work, find a place to stay.”

“Where?”

“There’s going to be a way Sebby. Just come back. I miss my big brother and hate seeing you like this.”

Sebastian was quiet after that.


	29. In which Sam’s dad comes back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Be careful, this one is a bit depressing. Other than that no triggers.  
> Revised: No

Spring came, and it took Sam all he had, to not freak out every single second of his young life. It was mid-February when they got the call. His father would come home at the end of March. Sam got the chance to talk to him on the phone but didn’t really know what to say. Thankfully he wasn’t alone with that. The only person who had no problems whatsoever to talk to him was Vincent. He was at this perfect age, where he understood just not quite enough to have a barrier in his head. To him it was just clear, that his dad would come home soon, and he was excited about that.

Sam envied him. He felt so helpless. It got easier every day, to understand why his mom was so broken. Life would he weird, he assumed, but had no idea what his brain wanted to tell him with that. 

Also, Sebastian didn’t call. Like, never. It got lowkey ridiculous, after he ignored some of Sam’s calls. Hannah tried as well and got ignored. Sebastian didn’t even answer texts. Sam talked with Maru about him and then with Hannah. They knew something was up, but after a while, trying to contact him hurt more and more. So they stopped. And life just kind of went on.

By the time March arrived Sam stopped sleeping almost entirely. He got suspended from work, after missing too many shifts. His main objective in life was sitting at the beach in the middle of the night, thinking. It was one of these nights, that Sebastian finally replied to him.

*

Sam was sitting on the docks next to Willies cabin. It was nearly 4 in the morning and he knew by now, that he had about a half hour until Willy would be awake and join him in silence. Life was weird at night. It was, like everybody was in synch. Grieving was much easier, because nobody was watching. So was thinking. 

His mother had tried being hard on him, after he lost his job. But he didn’t really care and if Jody was honest, so did she. Hannah was of course supportive, but ever since Sebastian left, Sam could feel, that she was in a dark place as well. It was altogether not a good time to be alive for pretty much everybody.

The sound of footsteps ripped him from his thoughts. He half-turned around, expecting it to be Willy but it wasn’t. Haley nodded in silence and sat down next to him. She joined him sometimes, staring at the ocean, watching the sun creep up slowly, until the sea was a nice, bride colour. She liked that, and Sam felt, like it was a nice metaphor for life. At night everything was dark, but then the light came. Some people, like Haley and Hannah embraced it and felt better immediately. Others hid from it, because they couldn’t face light. Not just yet. Sebastian had always been one of the latter and apparently, so was Sam now.

Willy joined them and when the sun finally came up, Haley started smiling, Willy had caught an impressive amount of fish and Sam was ready to head home. It was the moment Haley had gotten up, that his phone vibrated. 

Sebastian.

It was a single message, Sam could see that. He wasn’t quite sure what to do. But the beach would soon no longer be a private location and he needed to be alone for this. He stood up, wished Willy luck with his fishing and headed home. Home. It sure didn’t feel like home anymore but it was, where he had a private room. 

“Hey.”

That was it? He sat on his bed and stared at the screen. Something in him wanted to scream. Hell, if Sebastian would still live in the other side of the town he probably would have headed over there right now, just to give him shit. But Sebastian was far away. So he replied something instead.

“Hey? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to write.”

Oh, I don’t know, how about a reason why you ignored us for the last months you complete and utter piece of – Sam deleted the half-written mess. He felt bad for being angry. How pathetic was that?

“You could have started with that apology.”

“I know. Sorry. It’s just… it’s been a couple of weird weeks.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“I feel like I don’t have the right to tell you my problems. I wanted to ask you, how you’ve been doing.”

“Hannah wrote to you?”

“Hannah and Maru both. They are concerned.”

“Oh, so we’re replying to Hannah’s texts now, are we?” Sam felt anger rise up in his chest.

“No.”

The anger left. Sebastian was already typing again.

“I couldn’t text you guys. I know how that sounds, but I just… I am not in a good shape and didn’t want you… anyways, when Hannah told me you lost your job and Maru said, that you only ever go out at night… I just wanted… I don’t…” Sam had no idea what Sebastian was trying to say.

“You wanted to check on me? Yeah, well okay let me update you: my best fucking friend left me at a really shitty point in my life and didn’t even care to text or call until other people made him feel bad.”

“Sam, I’m sorry…”

Something in Sam broke. “Yeah. But if you’re only caring to text, when others make you realize, that you should, then fuck right off. I do not need a pity text. You are not my friend anymore so please just leave me alone.”

Sebastian went offline and Sam started to cry. He put the phone down and his damn brain started to overthink everything again. 

He did that for a couple of reasons. None of which were enough to defend the hateful message, but they made him understand his own decision better. First of all he still felt really guilty for kissing Hannah. Almost as if he didn’t deserve to be friends with Sebastian again. Secondly, Sebastian had been ignoring him, until he felt bad. That was not what friendship was about. Third off, he had absolutely no headspace left to feel shitty about Sebastian not being here. If he had to tell him off to feel a little better, then so be it.

Hannah would rip him a new one, if she ever found out about this.

Sam lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling whilst the sun rose more and more. It was around 10am when the doorbell rang. He heard his mother head towards the door. Penny was late to get Vincent, Sam thought. He got up and tried flattening his out-of-control-hair. Normally he didn’t bother saying hi to her, but after – more or less – breaking up with Sebastian, he felt like seeing a friendly face. Be it only, to stop him from hating everything for a couple seconds.

He opened the door and heard voices coming from the kitchen. Vincent was running in his direction and just by the look in his face, Sam knew what was going on. He looked up to the kitchen and saw his father standing in the doorway.


	30. In which Hannah is better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No triggers  
> Revised: No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters. How do you think it will end?
> 
> I know of course :D Hehe 
> 
> Just a fair warning: the next two chapters will be quite long. I want to end this series with long chapters, so you have a little more to read, even though it's over soon. ♥

She was staring at her phone until it got dark. A quick touch or tap to the screen to wake it up again and back to staring. 

“Hey”

“Hey”

“Are you ignoring me?”

“Sebastian?”

Then nothing for a painfully long time, until she swallowed her pride to write him again.

“Sam’s not doing well, please answer his texts.”

Hannah was laying on her bed, it was sometime after midnight. She usually stopped bothering about the time around 2am. Not sleeping was normal now. She didn’t spend all of her nights looking at the old texts between her and Sebby, no her life wasn’t quite that pathetic yet. But today was a bad day and she allowed herself to look at the texts on those kinds of days.

Sometimes she wondered, what would happen if she would write other kinds of texts. She had been aware of Sebastians feelings towards her for some time before he left but didn’t want to take the city away from him. It felt like cheating. 

She also had no idea how much she felt for him back then. It pained her to know that she could’ve probably stopped him from going. Especially since Sam had started acting out. But it was his dream and she was barely in the Valley for a year. Who was she to stop him?

So, wondering what would happen if she wrote him how she felt was nice, but she’d never actually text him that. Him not calling or writing hurt, but he probably had quite the busy life over there and life had to go on. 

Now if only Sam would be able to get over it. Hannah wondered if he was awake. Probably.

Ever since his father had come home he didn’t really chance his ways, but he tried hiding them better. Hannah was just happy to see him outside in daylight from time to time. He also helped her building some sheds on the farm. On those days life almost felt normal. Almost.

Because there was still this weird silence in between every thought. Whenever they had a laught or he talked about his dad being home and how it felt, it was nice, but they knew how much nicer it could be.

There was also the problem with Abigail. She and Penny were thinking about moving, too. Abigail was due to college and Penny wanted to learn how to properly teach children. Their lives were full and rich and happy. It almost felt, like Abigail needed Sebastian to move away, to fully embrace what she had with Penny.

But who could blame her?

*

It was time to stand up, so Hannah did that. She got up, brushed her teeth, got herself a bit of bread before heading out, checking the freshly planted crops for snails. Then came the chickens. Then watering. Then breakfast. Then weeds. Then it was time to head to Robin, to get some supplies and a quick stop at Pierres. She made her way down from the carpenter’s house to the farm and from there she headed to the city. Something in her couldn’t bare taking the mountain path.

On her way back, she passed Evelyn and gave her some fresh flowers. The older woman loved it and that made Hannah smile. It was a nice trade. At about 3pm it was time to get Sam and – since it was a Weekday – Shane as well. Shane stopped working for Joja around the time the old Communitycenter was finally renovated. The whole town worked on that. Now he kept the Communitycenter clean and in the afternoons, he helped on Hannah’s farm or spent time with his goddaughter Jas. Altogether he did just fine. 

She rang the doorbell at Sam’s house and smiled widely, as his mother Jody opened her the door.

“Hey there stranger!” The woman greeted her with a tired, but wholesome smile. She was much better, but still in need of some help. 

“Hello Jody, I got something for you.” Hannah pulled out some freshly grown cauliflower and soaked in, how the eyes of Sam’s mother lit up. It was the best feeling as a farmer, when people reacted like that. That feeling and the moment, one ate their own crops for the first time. 

“Oh you!” Jody walked towards the kitchen and gestured to Hannah, to close the door. “As if it’s not enough that you take Sam with you a couple times a week!” They laughed, and Hannah saw someone heading towards them via the bathroom.

“Hello Kent!” The returned soldier was a tad bit reserved, but quite nice. He usually stood out in the green around the house this time of day.

“Hello Hannah”, he replied in his quiet and steady voice. “Sam, your friend is here.” He didn’t need to raise his voice. The door to Sam’s room opened and out he came. He looked even more tired than his mother, but he still cracked a wide smile, as he approached them.

“Hey Hannah,” they hugged for a long second. “Ready?” She nodded and said goodbye to Jody and Kent. 

A moment later they were on their way to Marnie’s to get Shane. He was playing outside with Jas and looked happier, than ever. He was like that, when he got to spend time with her. The three of them got to work on Hannah’s farm. 

Around 5pm Robin got there as well. She was building a well right next to the new fields. Hannah had gotten herself a mill and some space specifically for wheat. She wanted to make her own flour this year. There was some talk about a town-bakery. Something Sam could manage, if he wanted to. 

Hannah knew he wasn’t going to move away soon. He was too broken for a new beginning and was just starting to heal. But he really needed something in his life that gave him a purpose. His father could help, and so could Vincent. This kid would sell bread like nothing, with one of his wide smiles. 

*

It was half past 7, when they separated, got a quick shower and met again in the bar. Robin was with her husband of course, but the rest of them got together. Sam, Hannah, Abigail, Penny and Maru as well. She was so much better, thanks to Harveys help.

Life was good?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please leave a comment or a kudos to let me know that you liked it.
> 
> Edit: OMG we got 1300 hits! Thank you so much! :)


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